Thursday, June 19, 2008

Forgiveness

A few weeks ago, I was at a church service in which they talked about forgiveness. It was the typical talk about letting go of your bitterness, and it was very matter-of-fact. They handed out rocks, and the point was that you should just let go and throw your rock into a pile.

A few years ago, I was in a situation where I was really hurt. Although it was partially my fault, there was also some serious wrong-doing on the part of another party. And, in hindsight (and partially in my defense), most of the wrong that I caused was out of frustration with what was happening to me. When it happened, I became seriously disillusioned, and it caused a lot of pain in my life.


When I held that rock in my hand, I realized that I had never consciously made the decision to forgive. A lot of the bitterness was gone, but there were times (although quite rare) in which I saw the person who had hurt me the most, and it was always awkward... I would look away or avoid eye contact.


Holding that rock, I realized that it was time to truly let go and put it in my past. A lot of me had already moved on - I could no longer recite the list of wrongs that had been done, or remember all the ways in which I had been hurt... but I had never truly forgiven. So, in a very matter-of-fact way, I walked up to the pile and tossed in my rock. I didn't really think much of it at the time... it was just a logical decision.

Yesterday, I was at the mall, and as I walked past a table in the food court, I saw the person who had wronged me the most, but who I had simply chosen to forgive. Without thinking, I smiled and waved...