Spring Beauty

This morning, I had the pleasure of getting outside for a run before the weather took a nasty turn for the worse.

Spring is awesome. The trees are JUST starting to bud now and I know that any day there will be big green leaves on the branches which look bare now from a distance. The ducks and seagulls were out on the river, and it was just a beautiful morning all around. I think God woke me up this morning for my run (I hadn't set my alarm since I was up late last night) just so that I could remember that He really does love me, snow aside.

One of the things that I both love and hate about myself is that I feel a strong connection to nature. This isn't the type of nature connection that leads me to be passionate about sleeping in tents; rather, it is a draw that gives me immense peace when I catch the beauty of nature. Sometimes, I'll be having the WORST day, and I'll be walking up the path to my door, glance up, notice the clear night sky complete with Northern Lights, and remember that the same God who took the time to make all that beautiful is going to create beauty in my own life. I remember another such reminder when I was in Cuba. Though I was on vacation, we'd had a long day and I was tired and needed some alone time. I went down to walk along the deserted beach, and my timing enabled me to catch the gorgeous ocean sunset. Being alone with that view just gave me peace.

There have been so many experiences like that in my life.

This morning was a moment like that. Though there was nothing on my mind, considering the nasty weather that we have now, I feel blessed to have experienced the pleasantly crisp, but sunny, start to the day.

Let It Go...

Yesterday was a very frustrating day. To make a long story short, I got stuck doing a lot of IT stuff and felt in over my head. (I'm not an IT person... I dropped out of computing science 8 years ago so I wouldn't become an IT person, but I still know too much about computers since I grew up with them in the house as my mother is a computer programmer.) And I was at work late, staring at my computer screen getting frustrated. When that happens, I just start to feel frustrated about everything...

As I stared at my computer screen, all I could think of was that I wanted to be running through the river valley. So, when I wrapped things up and gave up for the night, that's precisely what I did.

As I was running, a song called "Daisy" by the band Switchfoot came on my iPod. As I was listening to it, I felt an immense rush of peace, and wanted to share the lyrics:

Daisy, give yourself away
Lookup at the rain
The beautiful display
Of power and surrender
Giving us today
And she gives herself away

Rain, another rainy day
Comes up from the ocean
Give herself away
She comes down easy
On rich and debt the same
And she gives herself away

Let it go
Daisy, Let it go
Open up your fist
This fallen world
Doesn't hold your interest
It doesn't hold your soul
Daisy, let it go

Pain, give yourself a name
Call yourself contrition
Avarice or blame
Giving isn't easy
Neither is the rain
When she gives herself away

Daisy, why another day?
Why another sunrise
Who will take the blame
For all redemptive motion
And every rainy day
When he gives himself away
--------------------

I don't spend enough time surrendering. I get frustrated at work because I expect myself to have all the answers right away. But they take time, and often the input of someone else with a slightly different skill set to shed a new perspective. I get frustrated with life because I expect it to fall in place the way I see it, rather than trusting God's plan and His direction.

One thing that I always need to remember is to just "let it go." Nothing that happens on a daily basis is going to shatter my life. When I get wound up, it only makes things worse. If I want to release the stress, I just need to "open up [my] fists." I get so caught up thinking that it's success and accomplishments that matter in life, when really they are far down the list of what TRULY matters. It's easy to get caught up in what is tangible and easy to measure and let the things that truly matter - my faith, my family, relationships, serving others - slip.

But if I can learn to let go of this obsessive drive for success and instead learn to, as one of my good friends always tells me, "breathe and let God do the rest," I think I will have fewer frustrating days.

Change

As a junior high student, the cross-country running unit in gym was one to be dreaded, feared and suffered through. I am definitely not a runner. But lately, I've started running. And I'll tell you a secret... I really enjoy it!

My newfound appreciation for running has stemmed from a series of lifestyle changes that I am making in an attempt to develop healthy habits. And as I went for my nice, long run this afternoon, I spent a lot of time pondering what it really takes for us to make change in our lives.

A lot of times, we are impacted by big events, but the actual changes that result from these moments are lived out in our daily choices. I cannot call myself a runner now; I still have to choose to go running every time I go. There are days when I'm tired, and would really rather lie in bed and watch an episode of Chuck on DVD, but I've been finding that I'm always glad when I instead make the choice to go for a run.

Though I've only been doing it a few weeks, I'm already finding myself in better shape. My endurance is better and I can run longer and faster. My body shape is even changing. All of these are good things, but they are not because I've started running. They are all because of the cumulative effect of making many choices to go for a run instead of sitting on the couch.