Stressing

With just 22 days of work left, my departure date from Edmonton is getting closer, and I am starting to stress out a little! Yes, details are falling into place. Just this week I have set up the final of my American bank accounts so I can easily transfer money from my Canadian account to an American one that will let me use debit (if that's what they call it down there) and write cheques and stuff. (No, I will never spell it "checks." Checking is what you do when you put your bag into the airline's hands for a flight.)

Anyway, the reality of the big move is starting to set in. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be more excited about this adventure. But then there's the part of me that enjoys being close to family (just this evening, my sister and I went on a nice bike ride) and will definitely miss my friends. Other than people that I've met online and exchanged emails and Twitter feeds with, I know no one. There is not one single person that will be in Charlottesville that I have met in person. (Oh, except the couple my mom and I had dinner with on the train back in October... note to self: email them!) Everyone that I've met in the process has been amazing, though, and I know that shortly after arriving, I will feel like I am in good company.

It's probably rational to feel this way. This next step of my life is a big step that's going to change everything. I've been planning it for a really long time... Since October 2007, really, when I drove down to Calgary for an HBS info session. And I've been waiting for it for a while... Last July, I decided that even if I didn't get into any schools, I was going to find a job somewhere other than Edmonton. But now everything's coming quickly, and it feels like I spent too much time hoping time would pass quickly and not enough enjoying the blessings at my fingertips.

Well, 6 and a half weeks until the big move. I'm really excited, but feel as though I have a lot of stuff to do and people to see in the meantime.

EDIT: I should add that I am not discounting the people I've met through various social networking sites! I'm very excited about meeting all of them; they've been amazing. ALSO...

Another source of stress is that I've decided to sell my Civic and buy my parents' Acura since it's a bit bigger, and able to transport more stuff down to C'ville with me. And here's a shameless plug... If you live in Edmonton, you should buy my Civic, because it's totally awesome.

What I'll Miss About Edmonton

Several of my fellow classmates-to-be at Darden have done blog posts on what they will miss from where they live now. As I am currently attempting to settle into my temporary home (difficult since it is occupied by the stuff that belongs to my sister living in Germany), and starting to realize just how quickly the weeks are zipping by, it seems like an appropriate time to reflect. I also think it is important since I am really excited about the next chapter of my life, but I also need to make sure that I am fully here for the next 8 weeks and 2 days.

• Let's get the obvious out of the way: free time and a pay cheque. Full-time study at the most intense first year MBA program doesn't really create either of those in abundance. I am most going to miss having a whole free evening that I can get in a run, catch up on email, watch my favourite TV show, read a book AND talk to good friends on the phone.
• Snow at Christmas: I love the snow in December, and while C'ville DOES get snow, it doesn't generally stick around long. (Disclaimer: I will not miss snow on the May long weekend.)
• Not just friends, but friends with whom I have a long history. I love that my friends know me and all my quirks, which buttons to push (and not push!), and even the fact that I always bring a shrimp ring whenever bringing an appetizer is required. There's something so comforting about being with people who already know the gist of you. You can just hang out and be yourself. That said, I'm wondering which parts of me to "re-invent". You know... maybe I'll be the girl who always brings carrot sticks to parties next year. I will also miss my friends individually, each for different reasons, which I could probably write several blogs about, but I won't. Just know that I am very thankful for Skype, and for the promises you've made to come visit!
• Family. I've got one sister who loves to travel and live exciting places, so we've got long-distance sisterhood down. The rest of my family has always been nearby, and I'll miss seeing them regularly. Family is something you always take for granted, but realize how important when you are far away. I'll miss the good laughs, board games and just general support.
• Knowing my way around the city. I've been driving in Edmonton for nearly 12 years, and I pretty much know where everything is, what the best way is to get there and when to be in which lane.
• River Valley... Edmonton has a gorgeous river valley! I don't think C'ville has a river at all.
• My church. It has the BEST music that I've ever experienced at a church, and I'm keeping my expectations for church music in C'ville relatively low.

Okay, so I could try and write down more Edmonton-specific things, but the truth is that what has made Edmonton special over the years has been people more than places or perks. The Edmonton things I will probably discover more as I live in C'ville. (Though I could add anything "big city" to the list: nice movie theatres, abundance of shopping, etc.)

Leaving

For a long time, I've been counting down the time until my big move to Virginia. Tonight was the first time that all the implications of leaving really set in.

It's ironic... Today one of the current Darden students posted a link to a YouTube video from Darden Follies entitled "Don't Make Me Leave Darden" on Twitter. (PS I am on Twitter... @missjoolz) I've had it stuck in my head ever since watching it and it feels very weird. It's gotten me to thinking about why I'm doing this whole MBA thing. I'm not a fool; I know the economy is terrible right now. The main reason for getting an MBA is to break into management consulting, and the job market is not going to make that an easy transition!

Then I went for a run this evening. As I was running through the river valley, I was thinking about what a great location I have. Everything here in Edmonton is so comfortable. I know where to find everything. I've lived here for nearly 18 years! I have a ton of connections here. As I was attempting to fall asleep tonight, I started thinking about the big good-bye party when I leave and how hard it will be to say goodbye to everyone. I pictured myself loading up my car and saying goodbye to my parents, and how much I will miss them. (I have to say that since my mom reads my blog... JUST KIDDING... I really will miss you.)

And Virginia is about as foreign as it can get for me while still being only one country away. For all the American television I've grown up around, there are still things that make Americans so very different... leaving shoes on in the house, miles and Fahrenheit, the Southern accent, different restaurant chains... and those are just the differences I can think of!

But for all the apprehensions I may be experiencing, I have no doubt it will be worth it. In the next two years, I will make lifelong friendships, develop a strong knowledge of the business world, experience a (slightly) different culture and meet people from other cultures, and network with people who also have a passion for social responsibility and bounce ideas off them so we can change the world. I don't think anyone ever shaped history by staying comfortable.

I just hope that the words from one of the choruses from "Don't Make Me Leave Darden" don't come back to haunt me in two years:

"I should have never left work; I feel like such a jerk."