Sometimes I feel as though my life is the dichotomy of two desires. On one end, there is the need to be content, just as I am. On the polar opposite, there is the desire to be constantly struggling for growth and improvement.
These are both important, but sometimes I wonder where the balance is. Part of me thinks it is only possible to truly grow and stretch when we are secure in who we are and content at where we are in life.
This was something running through my mind as I was jogging the other morning. It was less than 2 months ago that I started, and at that point, I was doing about 4km and alternating between walking and running. Now, I can run a full 7 km without taking walking breaks. But now it feels inadequate when I only do 5 km. So it got me thinking... where is the balance between being happy with what we've accomplished and striving for more improvement and more growth? I'm a natural driven person, so I feel as though I'm always aiming for more. Sometimes I don't really know how long to enjoy that plateau before I start striving for the next step.
Now, I hope that you didn't read the title of my blog and start reading because you thought I had answers. Instead, I have only questions. The only thing that I can really come up with is that I think that balance and the dichotomy of desires is important. Contentment keeps us from going crazy, and the need for striving and growth is what really makes life worth living.
Showing posts with label ambitions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ambitions. Show all posts
Monday, May 25, 2009
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
2008: Year in Review
The time has come to reflect on a year gone by and anticipate the year ahead.
At the beginning of 2008, I had several goals: ace the GMAT, visit New York and visit the Harvard campus. I accomplished these goals, and I must say that 2008 has been the year of the flight. I read once that you should visit three new places every year. In 2008, I met the quota for several years' worth of new places: Cuba, Toronto, Niagara Falls, Boston, New York, Virginia and Washington DC.
I discovered the joys of all-inclusive resorts and figured out the fine balance between relaxation and adventure while in Cuba.
In Toronto and Niagara Falls, I recognized both the joys and pitfalls of travelling alone. You meet amazing people when you don't have a comfortable group around you.
And in Boston and New York, I found cities that speak my language. While visiting campuses, I met other people whose career ambitions match my own. I also formed some great memories with my mom, and got to see a Broadway show, an NFL game and the NY Philharmonic perform at Lincoln Center (all in the span of two and a half days :) ).
2008 was, in many ways, a year of confirmation for me. I have long been growing tired of Edmonton, and being in cities like Toronto and New York just confirmed that there are places that I indeed belong.
While 2008 was an island of stability and predictability, I am facing 2009 without a clue what comes next. If I find myself in the same place I am now as I approach 2010, I will be very sad indeed. 2009 is going to be a keystone year in my life... a year in which something must change, otherwise I fear I may be stuck in Edmonton in a dead-end job forever, just being the "crazy lady," since I don't like cats.
At the beginning of 2008, I had several goals: ace the GMAT, visit New York and visit the Harvard campus. I accomplished these goals, and I must say that 2008 has been the year of the flight. I read once that you should visit three new places every year. In 2008, I met the quota for several years' worth of new places: Cuba, Toronto, Niagara Falls, Boston, New York, Virginia and Washington DC.
I discovered the joys of all-inclusive resorts and figured out the fine balance between relaxation and adventure while in Cuba.
In Toronto and Niagara Falls, I recognized both the joys and pitfalls of travelling alone. You meet amazing people when you don't have a comfortable group around you.
And in Boston and New York, I found cities that speak my language. While visiting campuses, I met other people whose career ambitions match my own. I also formed some great memories with my mom, and got to see a Broadway show, an NFL game and the NY Philharmonic perform at Lincoln Center (all in the span of two and a half days :) ).
2008 was, in many ways, a year of confirmation for me. I have long been growing tired of Edmonton, and being in cities like Toronto and New York just confirmed that there are places that I indeed belong.
While 2008 was an island of stability and predictability, I am facing 2009 without a clue what comes next. If I find myself in the same place I am now as I approach 2010, I will be very sad indeed. 2009 is going to be a keystone year in my life... a year in which something must change, otherwise I fear I may be stuck in Edmonton in a dead-end job forever, just being the "crazy lady," since I don't like cats.
Monday, January 02, 2006
The Requisite New Year Post
When I get tired, I either get really giddy or really grumpy. Usually the giddy happens when I am up late by my own choosing - I chose to drive 40 hours in one weekend, or I chose to stay up all night. The grumpy happens when I don't choose (can't sleep at night, or I got a ride with someone some place and they aren't ready to leave), or I indirectly choose (good old procrastination has led to staying up later than I'd like finishing school projects).
After all that explanation, I can now say that I chose to stay up all night on New Year's Eve/Day with my sister who was leaving for Montreal at 6:50 a.m. January 1st. And I was giddy to the point of embarassment for my family. We were at the airport, and fortunately my sister knew what to do, because the signs explaining the whole process were covered by some festive Christmas wreaths. (I'm assuming they said "1. Check in here" because there were other signs that you COULD see that said "2. Check baggage here") The girl in front of us did not have x-ray vision, however, so when the "friendly" Air Canada lady came through the line making sure everyone had their boarding passes, she did not. Now, we were obvious very willing to hold her place in line, but when she asked if she could leave her luggage, the Air Canada lady said, "we don't leave luggage unattended, this is an airport." To which I quietly replied (to my family), "oh, I was wondering what all those planes were doing out the back." Of course, that alone wouldn't have been embarassing for my sister, it was more the fact that I thought it was very funny and when her friend came back from wherever she had gone (probably tampering with people's luggage - it was an airport after all), I told her perhaps at a slightly larger volume than necessary (although I can't say for sure since my judgment was slightly impaired by a lack of sleep.)
You would not believe how much fun Skip-Bo and Uno are at 5 a.m. Neither game had I played in several years, but we played them that morning. Including our own(?) variation which including picking up cards until you had something you can play (in Uno) which inevitably lead to a hand FULL of cards pretty much every time. It was the game that just kept on going...
I have no New Year's Resolutions. But, at the risk of jinxing it, I WILL say that I am reading a book called "Today Matters" by John Maxwell. Kind of like "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey, but different and potentially better. (Although I can't say for sure... I am only assuming it's better because I'm sure John Maxwell has read "Seven Habits" and would not write his own book if he thought the habits book sufficed. All that said, "Seven Habits" is still on my list of books to read whenever someday comes) It always sucks that I read these kind of books when everyone else is making their resolutions, because the habits and changes I want to make as a result will seem like resolutions and thus be jinxed, but summer and Christmas are the only time I really have for reading and self-inspection.
It's amazing how much bad music is out there. But what's more amazing is that I have purchased so much bad music. I learn this as I have just spent much time ripping CDs onto my computer in order to put the music on my iPod. To be fair, I have spent a good 12 years buying CDs and my taste has evolved very much in that time.
Well, now we've drifted far away from the subject of New Year's. But I really have nothing to say. We are two days in now and I have spent most of the time in 2006 sleeping, cleaning my room and importing music onto my computer. Plus reading the book that is going to change my life (oops... not anymore, I jinxed it).
How is it that I've become so cynical already by the age of 24?
If you've stuck through until now, congratulations. Leave me a comment, please. (But not to tell me I'm an idiot, because I already know that. ;) )
After all that explanation, I can now say that I chose to stay up all night on New Year's Eve/Day with my sister who was leaving for Montreal at 6:50 a.m. January 1st. And I was giddy to the point of embarassment for my family. We were at the airport, and fortunately my sister knew what to do, because the signs explaining the whole process were covered by some festive Christmas wreaths. (I'm assuming they said "1. Check in here" because there were other signs that you COULD see that said "2. Check baggage here") The girl in front of us did not have x-ray vision, however, so when the "friendly" Air Canada lady came through the line making sure everyone had their boarding passes, she did not. Now, we were obvious very willing to hold her place in line, but when she asked if she could leave her luggage, the Air Canada lady said, "we don't leave luggage unattended, this is an airport." To which I quietly replied (to my family), "oh, I was wondering what all those planes were doing out the back." Of course, that alone wouldn't have been embarassing for my sister, it was more the fact that I thought it was very funny and when her friend came back from wherever she had gone (probably tampering with people's luggage - it was an airport after all), I told her perhaps at a slightly larger volume than necessary (although I can't say for sure since my judgment was slightly impaired by a lack of sleep.)
You would not believe how much fun Skip-Bo and Uno are at 5 a.m. Neither game had I played in several years, but we played them that morning. Including our own(?) variation which including picking up cards until you had something you can play (in Uno) which inevitably lead to a hand FULL of cards pretty much every time. It was the game that just kept on going...
I have no New Year's Resolutions. But, at the risk of jinxing it, I WILL say that I am reading a book called "Today Matters" by John Maxwell. Kind of like "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey, but different and potentially better. (Although I can't say for sure... I am only assuming it's better because I'm sure John Maxwell has read "Seven Habits" and would not write his own book if he thought the habits book sufficed. All that said, "Seven Habits" is still on my list of books to read whenever someday comes) It always sucks that I read these kind of books when everyone else is making their resolutions, because the habits and changes I want to make as a result will seem like resolutions and thus be jinxed, but summer and Christmas are the only time I really have for reading and self-inspection.
It's amazing how much bad music is out there. But what's more amazing is that I have purchased so much bad music. I learn this as I have just spent much time ripping CDs onto my computer in order to put the music on my iPod. To be fair, I have spent a good 12 years buying CDs and my taste has evolved very much in that time.
Well, now we've drifted far away from the subject of New Year's. But I really have nothing to say. We are two days in now and I have spent most of the time in 2006 sleeping, cleaning my room and importing music onto my computer. Plus reading the book that is going to change my life (oops... not anymore, I jinxed it).
How is it that I've become so cynical already by the age of 24?
If you've stuck through until now, congratulations. Leave me a comment, please. (But not to tell me I'm an idiot, because I already know that. ;) )
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Oops... one more thing...
The previous post needs some clarification...
For the first time in my life, I'm headed in the right direction. I LOVE business school, and I'm working toward something right now. My summer job is intended as very practical experience for the work force I will be entering in due time. The volunteering that I do is leading to the same thing. And the friends I am making at school will be good friends during my career as well. So, I'm not cynical and bitter... I don't need anything to change. 2006 is the first year I am heading into with a positive outlook and a sense that I really know where I'm going for once. There's no questioning the direction like I did when I was heading into computing science. There's no wondering if I'm going to get in to business school. There's no sense of responsibility to my job that's holding me back from anything.
I truly am moving forward and enjoying every moment of it.
For the first time in my life, I'm headed in the right direction. I LOVE business school, and I'm working toward something right now. My summer job is intended as very practical experience for the work force I will be entering in due time. The volunteering that I do is leading to the same thing. And the friends I am making at school will be good friends during my career as well. So, I'm not cynical and bitter... I don't need anything to change. 2006 is the first year I am heading into with a positive outlook and a sense that I really know where I'm going for once. There's no questioning the direction like I did when I was heading into computing science. There's no wondering if I'm going to get in to business school. There's no sense of responsibility to my job that's holding me back from anything.
I truly am moving forward and enjoying every moment of it.
Looking Ahead to 2006
Hmmm... well, 2006 will most likely be a repeat of 2005. Now, I know that probably isn't a good way to start off the year, but 2005 was an overall good year. And the structure of 2006 will be the same - a summer of day camp sandwiched with two semesters of school. Throw some volunteer work on top and you've got 2006.
I know that I'm supposed to set goals and New Year's resolutions and all that crap, but the truth is that the goal is beyond 2006 and the events of 2006 are just leading me there.
When I sat down to write this blog, I had intended to write something profound and make 2006 somehow different and more special than 2005, but I'd rather go into the year with low expectations. Day Camp will go well, once again, and I will do well in school... once again. Of course I want to grow and all that stuff, but why should I sit down and make a huge list of things in my life that need to change when the reality is that by February, I will have lost the list and the routine of my life will be the same as always - it never changes.
I am quite aware that I am sounding completely cynical, but it never hurts to have low expectations, because then you won't be disappointed.
So, here's what 2006 holds: two good, fun, educational semesters of school, a good learning experience running day camp during the summer, and some fun trips and experiences sprinkled throughout. I will continue to grow and learn, and that will be that.
And I will not fall in love, because I never have, and I never will. There is no more hoping that the new year will bring love to my doorstep. I am officially career woman now.
I know that I'm supposed to set goals and New Year's resolutions and all that crap, but the truth is that the goal is beyond 2006 and the events of 2006 are just leading me there.
When I sat down to write this blog, I had intended to write something profound and make 2006 somehow different and more special than 2005, but I'd rather go into the year with low expectations. Day Camp will go well, once again, and I will do well in school... once again. Of course I want to grow and all that stuff, but why should I sit down and make a huge list of things in my life that need to change when the reality is that by February, I will have lost the list and the routine of my life will be the same as always - it never changes.
I am quite aware that I am sounding completely cynical, but it never hurts to have low expectations, because then you won't be disappointed.
So, here's what 2006 holds: two good, fun, educational semesters of school, a good learning experience running day camp during the summer, and some fun trips and experiences sprinkled throughout. I will continue to grow and learn, and that will be that.
And I will not fall in love, because I never have, and I never will. There is no more hoping that the new year will bring love to my doorstep. I am officially career woman now.
Monday, December 12, 2005
One Down, Three to Go
Finished my first final today. Forgot to write my name on it. (All is not in vain, though, as I am 99% sure that I DID remember to put my ID number.)
Finals would be much less stressful if I didn't want to go to grad school one day. I made that decision this weekend. How will I ever be the CEO of a company without my MBA?
Finals would be much less stressful if I didn't want to go to grad school one day. I made that decision this weekend. How will I ever be the CEO of a company without my MBA?
Saturday, December 10, 2005
2005 Year in Review
Saw someone else doing this in a blog, so I figured I would start as well.
The general outlook on 2005 for me was generally positive. Maybe not always, as there were some definite rough patches, but I would say that 2005 was a year of significant accomplishments and just generally moving forward in a very positive direction.
January Highlights:
I managed to work my school schedule so I only had classes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. (Okay, lame-o, I know, but it was a long time ago! How am I supposed to remember?)
February Highlights:
Accepted my summer job as day camp coordinator at my church... after the children's pastor hunted me down for months.
March Highlights:
Went snowboarding in the mountains for the first time. It was an enlightening experience in the sense that I learned just how much I prefer skiing quickly down black diamond runs to sitting tired and sore in the middle of a green run with a snowboard strapped to my feet.
At the end of March, I found out I had been admitted to Business school... which not only gave me the opportunity to create a great schedule, but also took the pressure off with final exams.
April Highlights:
The biggest memory from April is how much fun exams were. It was beautifully sunny, and I got my first bad burn of the season sitting outside on a picnic table with my friends memorizing dates for a history exam. Now, you may not think getting burned was a highlight, but it was the sun and beautiful weather that made it all worthwhile. One of my friends also started dating the guy she is now engaged to during this exam time, and it was really exciting to be with her for the start of all that.
May Highlights:
Started my summer job and it was just an all around good experience. I learned to appreciate school because of the flexibility of the schedule (despite the heinous amount of work I don't get paid for).
June Highlights:
June really is a blur, to be honest. I think it was in June that my sister came home from Montreal, so it was good to have her around again.
July Highlights:
First week of Day Camp made for an incredibly busy July. I worked more during July than I have worked in any other month, except maybe the months I spent working at camp when I was on staff there. However, all the hard work paid off and our camps were incredibly successful - a huge blessing to me.
August Highlights:
I inherited a dog, a car and a house for the month as I was housesitting for a couple who had gone to the Philippines. I loved having a dog and it was really awesome to have my own space for that month which was again really busy. Of course, I had people over on a frequent basis and it was a more relaxed end for the summer for me.
September Highlights:
Started business school. Love it. Absolutely love it. Met some awesome people.
October Highlights:
Road trip to Seattle to see my favorite band - Switchfoot - in concert. For a weekend. I spent over 20 hours behind the wheel of our van in three days, and I wasn't the only driver. But it was all worth it, as we met up with my best friend in Vancouver for the trip down to Seattle.
November Highlights:
November was an incredibly busy month, but a big part of me really thrived on that. Group projects and assignments dominated my every free moment, but in the process I made some great friends and got to build my teamwork skills.
December Highlights:
Yet to come, I suppose, as it is only the 10th. It would be unfair to comment until January. I am looking forward to relaxing as exams finish and spending some time doing a lot of nothing. Catching up with friends who have been away and friends who have been here, but just too busy to hang out. That's the agenda.
There have been low points, too... But what would be the point of dwelling on them?
As January and 2006 approach, I'll probably do a post on what I'm looking forward to in 2006.
And alas, the practice final for my business class is calling my name and I should stop procrastinating...
The general outlook on 2005 for me was generally positive. Maybe not always, as there were some definite rough patches, but I would say that 2005 was a year of significant accomplishments and just generally moving forward in a very positive direction.
January Highlights:
I managed to work my school schedule so I only had classes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. (Okay, lame-o, I know, but it was a long time ago! How am I supposed to remember?)
February Highlights:
Accepted my summer job as day camp coordinator at my church... after the children's pastor hunted me down for months.
March Highlights:
Went snowboarding in the mountains for the first time. It was an enlightening experience in the sense that I learned just how much I prefer skiing quickly down black diamond runs to sitting tired and sore in the middle of a green run with a snowboard strapped to my feet.
At the end of March, I found out I had been admitted to Business school... which not only gave me the opportunity to create a great schedule, but also took the pressure off with final exams.
April Highlights:
The biggest memory from April is how much fun exams were. It was beautifully sunny, and I got my first bad burn of the season sitting outside on a picnic table with my friends memorizing dates for a history exam. Now, you may not think getting burned was a highlight, but it was the sun and beautiful weather that made it all worthwhile. One of my friends also started dating the guy she is now engaged to during this exam time, and it was really exciting to be with her for the start of all that.
May Highlights:
Started my summer job and it was just an all around good experience. I learned to appreciate school because of the flexibility of the schedule (despite the heinous amount of work I don't get paid for).
June Highlights:
June really is a blur, to be honest. I think it was in June that my sister came home from Montreal, so it was good to have her around again.
July Highlights:
First week of Day Camp made for an incredibly busy July. I worked more during July than I have worked in any other month, except maybe the months I spent working at camp when I was on staff there. However, all the hard work paid off and our camps were incredibly successful - a huge blessing to me.
August Highlights:
I inherited a dog, a car and a house for the month as I was housesitting for a couple who had gone to the Philippines. I loved having a dog and it was really awesome to have my own space for that month which was again really busy. Of course, I had people over on a frequent basis and it was a more relaxed end for the summer for me.
September Highlights:
Started business school. Love it. Absolutely love it. Met some awesome people.
October Highlights:
Road trip to Seattle to see my favorite band - Switchfoot - in concert. For a weekend. I spent over 20 hours behind the wheel of our van in three days, and I wasn't the only driver. But it was all worth it, as we met up with my best friend in Vancouver for the trip down to Seattle.
November Highlights:
November was an incredibly busy month, but a big part of me really thrived on that. Group projects and assignments dominated my every free moment, but in the process I made some great friends and got to build my teamwork skills.
December Highlights:
Yet to come, I suppose, as it is only the 10th. It would be unfair to comment until January. I am looking forward to relaxing as exams finish and spending some time doing a lot of nothing. Catching up with friends who have been away and friends who have been here, but just too busy to hang out. That's the agenda.
There have been low points, too... But what would be the point of dwelling on them?
As January and 2006 approach, I'll probably do a post on what I'm looking forward to in 2006.
And alas, the practice final for my business class is calling my name and I should stop procrastinating...
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