Weddings are supposed to be a joy-filled celebration of the joining of two lives together. Instead, they've turned into an excuse for mother-in-laws to show the bride exactly who is the woman in the groom's life, family to air their dirty laundry and use attendance or non-attendance for power grabs, and friends to be hurt over not being chosen to play a special role in the celebration. Of course the drama goes on and on...
I have nothing against marriage. I am very much in favour of two people committing their lives together. But as I've sat in wedding after wedding over the past decade, I wonder why we pour so much money into one day and watch as the divorce rate creeps steadily upward. As I sat and had a heart-to-heart with my friend who is getting married on Friday (Disclaimer: None of the things I listed in the first paragraph apply to her wedding; they are just general trends that I've seen over the years.), she said "if you ever get married, just elope." This was nothing earth-shattering to me. In fact, I decided that would be the plan long ago: find a beach somewhere and make the vows there.
There is so much expense and stress that goes into a wedding. Even with the amount of money that I've put into this wedding, I could have probably just bought a ticket for a week at a resort in Mexico (though I wouldn't have my cute bridesmaid dress, which is actually cute and can and will be worn again). And if that's the case, I can't imagine how much infinitely more it is true for the bride and groom, who have very graciously been hosting us since we got here. On top of having to pay for wedding dresses, tux rentals, hall rentals, catering, flowers, hair appointments, decorations and on and on, they've been feeding us, driving two hours to pick us up from the airport and giving up their own personal space to have us around.
Anyway, a bridesmaid's job is to be supportive of the bride. This bride, being a teacher, is already very organized and has little left for us to do this week. But even she wonders why it is necessary to tie ribbons around all the little tiny bottles of bubbles...
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Stood Up
What is it with my generation and the inability to follow through on commitments?
Seriously. I'm selling my car. I get an email this morning that says, "I am in town until 6 and am interested in your car. Please call me at..." So I call. I figure since he is leaving town at 6, that by the time I get home from work at 5:30, there won't be enough time, so I tell him to just meet me at work at 5. I write down his cell, he writes down mine, we've got a plan.
So 5 rolls around. I head outside to park my car in a better location. I talk to some co-workers in the parking lot for a few minutes. 5:10 - I call to see if he needs directions and get voicemail. 5:15 - I move my car to an even better spot. 5:20 - I call again, get the voicemail and leave a message saying I am on my way home and he can call for the address if he is still interested. 5:25 - He calls and says he isn't coming. Um, thanks. Glad that I spent 25 minutes moving my car to different places in the parking lot.
When I was subletting the basement suite of the house I was renting a year ago, I got the same type of thing. People would make appointments to stop by and then not show up. It's the most aggravating thing in the world. Seriously, EVERYONE has cell phones these days... I know because I can tell from seeing your number on my call display. So if you're not going to show up, just have the common courtesy to pick up the phone and let whoever is expecting you know, so they aren't waiting around. There seems to be this attitude that other people's time isn't as important as your own.
And while I'm working up a good rant here... WHY do people always show up late when you have a specified time to meet them? If we say "let's meet at 10," why do I have to wait half an hour? Seriously, my friends, you know who you are... some of you I've started intentionally showing up 15 minutes late. And the crazy thing is that I've still had to sit around and wait for you.
Okay, I'm done. Just know that when you deal with me, if you stand me up, that will be the last time. And if you show up late, you go on my list of people that I have to convert time for. (Yes, I actually have a friend and when we make plans, I'll ask "is this 6 my time, or 6 in 'Bob' Standard Time?")
Seriously. I'm selling my car. I get an email this morning that says, "I am in town until 6 and am interested in your car. Please call me at..." So I call. I figure since he is leaving town at 6, that by the time I get home from work at 5:30, there won't be enough time, so I tell him to just meet me at work at 5. I write down his cell, he writes down mine, we've got a plan.
So 5 rolls around. I head outside to park my car in a better location. I talk to some co-workers in the parking lot for a few minutes. 5:10 - I call to see if he needs directions and get voicemail. 5:15 - I move my car to an even better spot. 5:20 - I call again, get the voicemail and leave a message saying I am on my way home and he can call for the address if he is still interested. 5:25 - He calls and says he isn't coming. Um, thanks. Glad that I spent 25 minutes moving my car to different places in the parking lot.
When I was subletting the basement suite of the house I was renting a year ago, I got the same type of thing. People would make appointments to stop by and then not show up. It's the most aggravating thing in the world. Seriously, EVERYONE has cell phones these days... I know because I can tell from seeing your number on my call display. So if you're not going to show up, just have the common courtesy to pick up the phone and let whoever is expecting you know, so they aren't waiting around. There seems to be this attitude that other people's time isn't as important as your own.
And while I'm working up a good rant here... WHY do people always show up late when you have a specified time to meet them? If we say "let's meet at 10," why do I have to wait half an hour? Seriously, my friends, you know who you are... some of you I've started intentionally showing up 15 minutes late. And the crazy thing is that I've still had to sit around and wait for you.
Okay, I'm done. Just know that when you deal with me, if you stand me up, that will be the last time. And if you show up late, you go on my list of people that I have to convert time for. (Yes, I actually have a friend and when we make plans, I'll ask "is this 6 my time, or 6 in 'Bob' Standard Time?")
Saturday, May 09, 2009
I Love Lucy Gender Role Commentary
Today I turned on the TV, and "I Love Lucy" happened to be on. It was the episode where Lucy and Ricky switch roles. Ricky (I hope that's his name; I rarely watch the show!) does the housework and Lucy goes to work in a chocolate factory.
As I watched the show, I got kind of irritated. It's funny how much our society has evolved over the last 50 years or so and how that kind of humour would never really fly today. In the relationships between my married friends, housework and cleaning are split equally. Other than friends on maternity leave, I don't know any women who don't work.
When I was doing my undergrad, I took a course called "Perspectives" taught by, what I thought at the time, an overly feminist prof. She talked about how hard it is for women in the workplace, and I thought she was off her rocker. Since taking that class, I've been working in a very male-dominated engineering firm and I must reluctantly admit that I see where she is coming from. Before I go on, I should preface my rant by saying that I get along well with my co-workers and I really appreciate them. BUT, it can be hard sitting in the lunchroom when the guys are ogling the "Sunshine Girl". Since I long stopped caring to memorize the specs of various cars and hockey stats and have never played video games (save for my periodic Sims addiction which I shouldn't even really admit to in public ;-) ), I don't fit in when the conversation drifts in those directions. Though it hasn't been a challenge thus far in my career, since I've still been able to develop tight enough relationships that I can work well with the guys I need to work with, I can see how it would be an issue if I were staying at the company long-term and wanted to, say, fit in with a partnership team that is comprised entirely of males.
Besides the typically addressed "Old Boys Club," I have to admit that there are also biological factors that can hamper a woman's career. Other than the rare (but prominently featured on Oprah) case where a man ends up carrying a baby, the woman is the one whose body is used for 9 months to carry a child. After that time, it is the woman who must breast feed her child until that stage is over. Though there are ways to shorten this process, the reality is that for women to have children, there are career sacrifices which must be made. Men don't face this same kind of trade-off. Whereas a woman must choose between family and career (if not long-term, definitely in the short-term), a man does not have this challenge.
Anyway, I don't know what can be further done about gender equality. I just found it very interesting that the gender-role-switching was so humourous back in the I Love Lucy days.
As I watched the show, I got kind of irritated. It's funny how much our society has evolved over the last 50 years or so and how that kind of humour would never really fly today. In the relationships between my married friends, housework and cleaning are split equally. Other than friends on maternity leave, I don't know any women who don't work.
When I was doing my undergrad, I took a course called "Perspectives" taught by, what I thought at the time, an overly feminist prof. She talked about how hard it is for women in the workplace, and I thought she was off her rocker. Since taking that class, I've been working in a very male-dominated engineering firm and I must reluctantly admit that I see where she is coming from. Before I go on, I should preface my rant by saying that I get along well with my co-workers and I really appreciate them. BUT, it can be hard sitting in the lunchroom when the guys are ogling the "Sunshine Girl". Since I long stopped caring to memorize the specs of various cars and hockey stats and have never played video games (save for my periodic Sims addiction which I shouldn't even really admit to in public ;-) ), I don't fit in when the conversation drifts in those directions. Though it hasn't been a challenge thus far in my career, since I've still been able to develop tight enough relationships that I can work well with the guys I need to work with, I can see how it would be an issue if I were staying at the company long-term and wanted to, say, fit in with a partnership team that is comprised entirely of males.
Besides the typically addressed "Old Boys Club," I have to admit that there are also biological factors that can hamper a woman's career. Other than the rare (but prominently featured on Oprah) case where a man ends up carrying a baby, the woman is the one whose body is used for 9 months to carry a child. After that time, it is the woman who must breast feed her child until that stage is over. Though there are ways to shorten this process, the reality is that for women to have children, there are career sacrifices which must be made. Men don't face this same kind of trade-off. Whereas a woman must choose between family and career (if not long-term, definitely in the short-term), a man does not have this challenge.
Anyway, I don't know what can be further done about gender equality. I just found it very interesting that the gender-role-switching was so humourous back in the I Love Lucy days.
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