Tonight I spent some time reading about poverty. Videos, stats, websites...
The current plan is to get some experience and then start an organization that does something... the dream is to see different movements to alleviate poverty around the globe united to work with greater efficiency. I want the overhead for the organization to be covered by several private corporations so any money donated would be given directly to projects. And the plan was always to do this once I figured out what I was doing.
But I'm not sure it can wait. There are people dying NOW.
Perhaps it is time to start putting the business plan together...
Monday, January 23, 2006
Friday, January 20, 2006
All Smiles Today
This morning I went to the class registration website, tried to swap into a different accounting class, and lo and behold... Success!
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
The Great Disconnect
Prior to starting this blog, I wrote an entire entry whining about how crappy I was feeling today. However, in the process, I sorted it all out and rather than making you listen to me whine, you get to rather glean pearls of wisdom from my conclusions.
In my life, there is a great deal of frustration that results from knowing more than I have been able to apply. I don't know if anyone else feels this way. There are books we read, and speakers we hear, and classes we attend that tell us how to live, and we get this picture of how we could be if we really applied all of this to our lives.
But then we look at our lives, and there are so many areas where we fall short of this standard that we have set for ourselves. And I call this "The Great Disconnect."
And in moments where I evaluate my actions and attitudes, I get so FRUSTRATED because I KNOW I was acting stupid, or doing something I knew was wrong. And I can't understand why I do things that I know are dumb.
Hehehe... I guess that's what Paul was talking about in Romans 7... "What I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate, I do."
And as I write this, the Ginny Owens' song "Own Me" comes on my iPod.
"Got a stack of books so I could learn how to live,
Many are left half read covered by the cobwebs on my shelf.
And I've got a list of laws growing longer every day,
If I keep plugging away, maybe one day I'll perfect myself.
Oh, but all of my labour seems to be in vain,
And all of my laws just cause me more pain.
So I fall before You in all of my shame,
Ready and willing to be changed.
Own me, take all that I am.
Heal me with the blood of the lamb.
Mold me by your gracious hand.
Break me til I'm only yours.
Own me."
What a God I follow... that He can even control the random function on my iPod. (So why can't he get me into the right Accounting class?)
Lasting change does not happen all at once. When I get frustrated, I need to submit myself to God's leadership and control and let Him chisel away at the perfect me He is creating. And sometimes it will be painful, other times it will seem too slow, and yet other times it will seem too fast. But I just need to trust Him, because I can be "confident of this, that He who began a good work in [me] will be faithful to carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:6... Paul again)
And when I can't figure out where He's leading me, or what my future is supposed to look like, I guess I just need to trust Him with that as well.
Wow... I really am feeling better now. Blogging is my new favourite venting outlet. (Which is too bad, because walking burns more calories.)
In my life, there is a great deal of frustration that results from knowing more than I have been able to apply. I don't know if anyone else feels this way. There are books we read, and speakers we hear, and classes we attend that tell us how to live, and we get this picture of how we could be if we really applied all of this to our lives.
But then we look at our lives, and there are so many areas where we fall short of this standard that we have set for ourselves. And I call this "The Great Disconnect."
And in moments where I evaluate my actions and attitudes, I get so FRUSTRATED because I KNOW I was acting stupid, or doing something I knew was wrong. And I can't understand why I do things that I know are dumb.
Hehehe... I guess that's what Paul was talking about in Romans 7... "What I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate, I do."
And as I write this, the Ginny Owens' song "Own Me" comes on my iPod.
"Got a stack of books so I could learn how to live,
Many are left half read covered by the cobwebs on my shelf.
And I've got a list of laws growing longer every day,
If I keep plugging away, maybe one day I'll perfect myself.
Oh, but all of my labour seems to be in vain,
And all of my laws just cause me more pain.
So I fall before You in all of my shame,
Ready and willing to be changed.
Own me, take all that I am.
Heal me with the blood of the lamb.
Mold me by your gracious hand.
Break me til I'm only yours.
Own me."
What a God I follow... that He can even control the random function on my iPod. (So why can't he get me into the right Accounting class?)
Lasting change does not happen all at once. When I get frustrated, I need to submit myself to God's leadership and control and let Him chisel away at the perfect me He is creating. And sometimes it will be painful, other times it will seem too slow, and yet other times it will seem too fast. But I just need to trust Him, because I can be "confident of this, that He who began a good work in [me] will be faithful to carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:6... Paul again)
And when I can't figure out where He's leading me, or what my future is supposed to look like, I guess I just need to trust Him with that as well.
Wow... I really am feeling better now. Blogging is my new favourite venting outlet. (Which is too bad, because walking burns more calories.)
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Restless Exhaustion
So often we find ourselves completely tired yet drawn to stay up for whatever reason. Tonight it is my thoughts and the deep desire to do SOMETHING that has prompted me to postpone sleep just a few more minutes and write. So although I'm not sure that writing my thoughts counts as something any more than reading, but it's all I can do at this moment.
Right now, as I sit surrounded in exorbitant luxury by at least 80% of the world's standards, someone who has never known life without hunger has just been orphaned.
And I don't know what to do about it.
That's all I've got for now. But if you are interested in actually reading about the whole topic of poverty, check out any of the following:
http://www.lowercasepeople.com
http://one.org
http://www.worldvision.ca
Right now, as I sit surrounded in exorbitant luxury by at least 80% of the world's standards, someone who has never known life without hunger has just been orphaned.
And I don't know what to do about it.
That's all I've got for now. But if you are interested in actually reading about the whole topic of poverty, check out any of the following:
http://www.lowercasepeople.com
http://one.org
http://www.worldvision.ca
Friday, January 13, 2006
Been tagged!
My sister, Rachel, (http://www.livejournal.com/users/immerrichtig) tagged me, so now I'm supposed to answer these questions. Wendy, here are the instructions: Copy and paste the following, delete my answers, and put in your own.
2 names you go by:
1. Julie
2. Jules
2 parts of your heritage:
1. Mennonite
2. Icelandic
2 things that scare you:
1. the thought of not living up to my potential
2. crowds!
2 of your everyday essentials:
1. my workout (um, yeah, new semester's resolution...)
2. a shower!
2 things you are wearing right now:
1. my "i like switchfoot" t-shirt (still in my gym clothes)
2. my blue fuzzy slippers
2 things you want in a relationship (other than real love):
1. to be challenged
2. good conversation
2 truths:
1. Jesus loves me, this I know.
2. Attitude is everything.
2 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex):
At the risk of not knowing who reads this (thanks for the tip, Rach!), I'm going to have to say...
1. guys who dress well totally impress me... tapered jeans turn me off like nothing else (hey, it's a shallow question)
2. eyes (if they have them, that's good... j/k... I like when a guy's eyes portray depth, and when they maintain steady contact with mine during a conversation)
2 of your favorite hobbies:
1. writing
2. playing games
2 things you want really badly:
1. to not lose the momentum I've got going right now
2. to always be content (like I am right now)
2 places you want to go on vacation:
*note: vacation, not travel... they are different
1. Phoenix (a month and 5 days, baby)
2. Hawaii
2 things you want to do before you die:
1. sky dive
2. change the world and leave a legacy
2 ways that you are stereotypically a chick:
1. chick flicks... they totally rock
2. I like pink
2 things you are thinking about now:
(okay... why is it that we can't ever think about what's on our mind when we are asked?)
1. the fact that we are leaving to go for supper in 5 minutes and I'm still in my sweaty gym clothes and wish I hadn't started on this now
2. life is just good today, even though I'm completely exhausted
2 stores you shop at:
1. Old Navy
2. Indigo
2 names you go by:
1. Julie
2. Jules
2 parts of your heritage:
1. Mennonite
2. Icelandic
2 things that scare you:
1. the thought of not living up to my potential
2. crowds!
2 of your everyday essentials:
1. my workout (um, yeah, new semester's resolution...)
2. a shower!
2 things you are wearing right now:
1. my "i like switchfoot" t-shirt (still in my gym clothes)
2. my blue fuzzy slippers
2 things you want in a relationship (other than real love):
1. to be challenged
2. good conversation
2 truths:
1. Jesus loves me, this I know.
2. Attitude is everything.
2 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex):
At the risk of not knowing who reads this (thanks for the tip, Rach!), I'm going to have to say...
1. guys who dress well totally impress me... tapered jeans turn me off like nothing else (hey, it's a shallow question)
2. eyes (if they have them, that's good... j/k... I like when a guy's eyes portray depth, and when they maintain steady contact with mine during a conversation)
2 of your favorite hobbies:
1. writing
2. playing games
2 things you want really badly:
1. to not lose the momentum I've got going right now
2. to always be content (like I am right now)
2 places you want to go on vacation:
*note: vacation, not travel... they are different
1. Phoenix (a month and 5 days, baby)
2. Hawaii
2 things you want to do before you die:
1. sky dive
2. change the world and leave a legacy
2 ways that you are stereotypically a chick:
1. chick flicks... they totally rock
2. I like pink
2 things you are thinking about now:
(okay... why is it that we can't ever think about what's on our mind when we are asked?)
1. the fact that we are leaving to go for supper in 5 minutes and I'm still in my sweaty gym clothes and wish I hadn't started on this now
2. life is just good today, even though I'm completely exhausted
2 stores you shop at:
1. Old Navy
2. Indigo
Sleepless in Edmonton
And now here I am... wide awake. It is 12:48 a.m. and in precisely 6 hours and 12 minutes my alarm will go off, beckoning me to join the day.
Somehow I always connected being tired during the day with being able to sleep at night, thus breaking the cycle of tiredness. Reality in the past month, however, has proven otherwise. And here I am. Wide awake and completely exhausted at the same time, but helpless to do anything about either.
The accounting battle is half won. I am now in a class with the prof I want, but in the wrong time slot. It wouldn't be a big deal, really, because it will be the same exams, so I can attend the other lecture. There is, however, the bane-of-my-existence group project to worry about. We need to select our own groups of two or three. Right now, the friends in my other class have a group of two, and if someone would just drop out so there was a spot, I would be the third. Life would be perfect. (um, yeah... I mean the group project scenario would be perfect.) At this point in time, I'm going to see if I can just go with them because we have the same prof. If I can't, it will be like an assigned group, only worse... if things go badly, I will have brought them on myself.
On Friends and Small Talk and that First Awkward Hello
This is all quite bizarre. Four months ago, I didn't know a soul in the Business faculty. I made small talk with the person who had the great fortune of sitting beside me in each class and from there, many great friendships were born. Then the assigned groups started and I got to know many, many people. And they were all great, and it was such a great opportunity.
But then this semester started. And suddenly I feel shy and awkward around those I don't know and it's strange to me because I was in the same boat, only worse, four months ago.
How can we get exclusive and closed-off when we are in a place that is safe? Today my friend Debra and I were sitting in ORG A 201, and the prof handed out playing cards to split the class into groups. Rather than venturing out on our own, Debra and I both grabbed the same number so we could stick together.
And how is it that although in the past, fewer encounters with others have been awkward than have ended in friendship (and acquaintance-ship), I still cling to the familiar? Take Debra for example. Four months ago, I plunked myself down beside her in our first BUS 201 class, introduced myself and began asking all the standard questions that I ask when attempting to make small talk. I expressed sheer delight when I discovered she was in the same cohort as I, and from there, we sat together all the time and soon started hanging out. In less than two months, we are going on a road trip to Phoenix together for Reading Week. (Plug: if you are interested in coming, we may still have spots... http://phoenixroadtrip.blogspot.com)
In our first conversation, I can't say I felt an immediate connection, but we just worked at being friends, and now here we are. Friends.
And there are dozens more in the range from acquaintance to friend that I have met from simply taking the time to say hi.
But now, at the beginning of this semester, it feels all awkward and new again. I always forget that this is the first stage of what eventually becomes a meaningful friendship or a future business contact.
Which leads me to realize yet another area where what I believe fails to intersect with how I act. What a crazy mixed-up life I live.
On Blogging
Blogging is quite strange and bizarre to me. Here's the thing: I sit down and write out these brilliant (we'll pretend), insightful and incredibly introspective blog postings. In my mind, there is a great anonymous public simply waiting for my pearls of wisdom, keen wit and intelligent wordplay (to use three cliches in one sentence).
But the truth is, I think only one person reads my blogs - my sister Rachel. (Hi Rachel! Here's a plug for her blog: http://livejournal.com/users/immerrichtig)
Of course, the fact that I just posted a link to her blog would suggest that I actually really think there is an anonymous public reading this blog. And the occasional comment from some random person miles away would suggest that there are people who stumble by my cyberspace abode from time to time. (Oh, and random people, I like you, so keep leaving me comments and links to your blogs. I do check them out when I can't sleep, am bored or in the midst of procrastinating.)
In addition, my blog address is posted both as my MSN "personal message" and in my email signature, so virtually everyone I know could potentially access it. But, I write as though they don't. Even though my friend Robyn emailed me a comment about the happiness post. (Hi Robyn!)
Blogging is strange and bizarre. It is completely selfish and I post this stuff to cyberspace thinking that someone out there might actually be interested in reading it. And not only do I post intensely "personal" stuff, I don't even keep it short! So, even if someone did want to read about my great life and learn great nuggets of truth from my fingertips, I can't imagine that they would make it the entire way through.
So I think I write to no one. It is a controlled exercise in processing the things on my mind in a controlled fashion. Kind of like a journal, but public. Which makes it completely unlike a journal. Because if I were to write about the deeper things on my mind right now... well, I wouldn't. That would just make me way more vulnerable than I care to be. Especially not knowing who really does read this.
The conclusion, so far, is thus: blogging is like journal writing, but not as effective because I can't be as thorough as necessary.
Yet it is entirely therapeutic and satisfying for me. I think we all like to imagine that we do have an adoring anonymous public hanging on to our every word. And since this imaginary mass in anonymous, we will never be proven otherwise.
The other therapeutic thing about it is that this blogging allows us to take the things we are thinking about and apply them to a much broader scale. If I were to simply write about being frustrated about not getting into the class I want in my journal, I would focus on that - brainstorming ways I could convince the faculty to let me in the class, etc. But because I'm writing with an audience other than me in mind, I have the ability to take my situation and apply it to something much more broad and ultimately get to the root of the issue.
So that's that. That's my take on blogging. I really enjoy it.
Now, if you do find yourself reading at this point, do post a comment.
Or not. I still like the illusion of an adoring, anonymous public.
Somehow I always connected being tired during the day with being able to sleep at night, thus breaking the cycle of tiredness. Reality in the past month, however, has proven otherwise. And here I am. Wide awake and completely exhausted at the same time, but helpless to do anything about either.
The accounting battle is half won. I am now in a class with the prof I want, but in the wrong time slot. It wouldn't be a big deal, really, because it will be the same exams, so I can attend the other lecture. There is, however, the bane-of-my-existence group project to worry about. We need to select our own groups of two or three. Right now, the friends in my other class have a group of two, and if someone would just drop out so there was a spot, I would be the third. Life would be perfect. (um, yeah... I mean the group project scenario would be perfect.) At this point in time, I'm going to see if I can just go with them because we have the same prof. If I can't, it will be like an assigned group, only worse... if things go badly, I will have brought them on myself.
On Friends and Small Talk and that First Awkward Hello
This is all quite bizarre. Four months ago, I didn't know a soul in the Business faculty. I made small talk with the person who had the great fortune of sitting beside me in each class and from there, many great friendships were born. Then the assigned groups started and I got to know many, many people. And they were all great, and it was such a great opportunity.
But then this semester started. And suddenly I feel shy and awkward around those I don't know and it's strange to me because I was in the same boat, only worse, four months ago.
How can we get exclusive and closed-off when we are in a place that is safe? Today my friend Debra and I were sitting in ORG A 201, and the prof handed out playing cards to split the class into groups. Rather than venturing out on our own, Debra and I both grabbed the same number so we could stick together.
And how is it that although in the past, fewer encounters with others have been awkward than have ended in friendship (and acquaintance-ship), I still cling to the familiar? Take Debra for example. Four months ago, I plunked myself down beside her in our first BUS 201 class, introduced myself and began asking all the standard questions that I ask when attempting to make small talk. I expressed sheer delight when I discovered she was in the same cohort as I, and from there, we sat together all the time and soon started hanging out. In less than two months, we are going on a road trip to Phoenix together for Reading Week. (Plug: if you are interested in coming, we may still have spots... http://phoenixroadtrip.blogspot.com)
In our first conversation, I can't say I felt an immediate connection, but we just worked at being friends, and now here we are. Friends.
And there are dozens more in the range from acquaintance to friend that I have met from simply taking the time to say hi.
But now, at the beginning of this semester, it feels all awkward and new again. I always forget that this is the first stage of what eventually becomes a meaningful friendship or a future business contact.
Which leads me to realize yet another area where what I believe fails to intersect with how I act. What a crazy mixed-up life I live.
On Blogging
Blogging is quite strange and bizarre to me. Here's the thing: I sit down and write out these brilliant (we'll pretend), insightful and incredibly introspective blog postings. In my mind, there is a great anonymous public simply waiting for my pearls of wisdom, keen wit and intelligent wordplay (to use three cliches in one sentence).
But the truth is, I think only one person reads my blogs - my sister Rachel. (Hi Rachel! Here's a plug for her blog: http://livejournal.com/users/immerrichtig)
Of course, the fact that I just posted a link to her blog would suggest that I actually really think there is an anonymous public reading this blog. And the occasional comment from some random person miles away would suggest that there are people who stumble by my cyberspace abode from time to time. (Oh, and random people, I like you, so keep leaving me comments and links to your blogs. I do check them out when I can't sleep, am bored or in the midst of procrastinating.)
In addition, my blog address is posted both as my MSN "personal message" and in my email signature, so virtually everyone I know could potentially access it. But, I write as though they don't. Even though my friend Robyn emailed me a comment about the happiness post. (Hi Robyn!)
Blogging is strange and bizarre. It is completely selfish and I post this stuff to cyberspace thinking that someone out there might actually be interested in reading it. And not only do I post intensely "personal" stuff, I don't even keep it short! So, even if someone did want to read about my great life and learn great nuggets of truth from my fingertips, I can't imagine that they would make it the entire way through.
So I think I write to no one. It is a controlled exercise in processing the things on my mind in a controlled fashion. Kind of like a journal, but public. Which makes it completely unlike a journal. Because if I were to write about the deeper things on my mind right now... well, I wouldn't. That would just make me way more vulnerable than I care to be. Especially not knowing who really does read this.
The conclusion, so far, is thus: blogging is like journal writing, but not as effective because I can't be as thorough as necessary.
Yet it is entirely therapeutic and satisfying for me. I think we all like to imagine that we do have an adoring anonymous public hanging on to our every word. And since this imaginary mass in anonymous, we will never be proven otherwise.
The other therapeutic thing about it is that this blogging allows us to take the things we are thinking about and apply them to a much broader scale. If I were to simply write about being frustrated about not getting into the class I want in my journal, I would focus on that - brainstorming ways I could convince the faculty to let me in the class, etc. But because I'm writing with an audience other than me in mind, I have the ability to take my situation and apply it to something much more broad and ultimately get to the root of the issue.
So that's that. That's my take on blogging. I really enjoy it.
Now, if you do find yourself reading at this point, do post a comment.
Or not. I still like the illusion of an adoring, anonymous public.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
*another sigh*
It is 10:30 p.m. and I don't know where my day went. How did life get so busy so quickly? I could retrace my steps and lay out every detail of the day, so I know that I didn't simply lose time, but I'm starting to think that living a "balanced" life takes more time than an unbalanced one.
And it was a good day, filled with good things.
But I picked up a copy of the National Post yesterday to read the "Working" section and have still only gotten through one article.
Now here I am, 10:40 at night, completely exhausted from the day and the lack of sleep which seems to be my curse this week. Frustrated because I can't get into the accounting class I want. Feeling uncertain simply because I feel so certain.
Okay, the last point needs some clarification. As you can read if you scroll down just a few posts, for the first time in my life, I feel like I know which direction I'm going. I'm in Business (check!), and will be studying that in September. (September has been the big unknown in my life for many years and now it is known, certain.) I've resigned myself to the fact that life can be blissfully wonderful as a successful single woman and for the first time in ages, forever really, I'm not expecting that this is the year in which my "tragic" love life is going to make a dramatic shift. My Valentine's journal entry will NOT read "maybe next year 'he' will be around." I also have a summer job! And while last year I had received several offers at this time, I was still tormented about which to choose. This year, I've made the decision, and I'm quite happy about it.
On top of that, the first four days of this semester have so far shown a dramatic improvement in discipline on my part, and I don't want to lose that.
And so I'm scared because everything is going so well, it's sinister. My biggest fear is that I'm going to change my mind once again and drop out of school and it will take even longer to finish my degree.
Which all leads me to a point of complete bafflement. I really do not feel at this time that I am walking in a path that is the wrong direction, so it's not like I feel convicted about anything. But right now I am more scared to trust God than I ever was when I didn't have things figured out and lined up. I like where I am. I know the direction I am going. I know the steps I need to take in the next few years. I'm content and I'm in control, yet it is at this time that I am petrified that God is going to change things, even though I KNOW that He only wants the best for me.
Even to the point of almost telling someone to take it back when they pray for God's direction in my life.
Maybe all of this has something to do with why I can't fall asleep at night...
It is now 11 p.m. and I need to wake up again in 8 hours. Start the busyness once again... How is it like this only four days into the semester?
And it was a good day, filled with good things.
But I picked up a copy of the National Post yesterday to read the "Working" section and have still only gotten through one article.
Now here I am, 10:40 at night, completely exhausted from the day and the lack of sleep which seems to be my curse this week. Frustrated because I can't get into the accounting class I want. Feeling uncertain simply because I feel so certain.
Okay, the last point needs some clarification. As you can read if you scroll down just a few posts, for the first time in my life, I feel like I know which direction I'm going. I'm in Business (check!), and will be studying that in September. (September has been the big unknown in my life for many years and now it is known, certain.) I've resigned myself to the fact that life can be blissfully wonderful as a successful single woman and for the first time in ages, forever really, I'm not expecting that this is the year in which my "tragic" love life is going to make a dramatic shift. My Valentine's journal entry will NOT read "maybe next year 'he' will be around." I also have a summer job! And while last year I had received several offers at this time, I was still tormented about which to choose. This year, I've made the decision, and I'm quite happy about it.
On top of that, the first four days of this semester have so far shown a dramatic improvement in discipline on my part, and I don't want to lose that.
And so I'm scared because everything is going so well, it's sinister. My biggest fear is that I'm going to change my mind once again and drop out of school and it will take even longer to finish my degree.
Which all leads me to a point of complete bafflement. I really do not feel at this time that I am walking in a path that is the wrong direction, so it's not like I feel convicted about anything. But right now I am more scared to trust God than I ever was when I didn't have things figured out and lined up. I like where I am. I know the direction I am going. I know the steps I need to take in the next few years. I'm content and I'm in control, yet it is at this time that I am petrified that God is going to change things, even though I KNOW that He only wants the best for me.
Even to the point of almost telling someone to take it back when they pray for God's direction in my life.
Maybe all of this has something to do with why I can't fall asleep at night...
It is now 11 p.m. and I need to wake up again in 8 hours. Start the busyness once again... How is it like this only four days into the semester?
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Deep Thoughts on Happiness
Happiness, I've logically concluded, is 100% internal.
Here's why:
- God never changes. So, while you're relationship to Him definitely affects your joy and happiness, it's not His fault if you're unhappy because He hasn't changed.
- Stuff doesn't make you happy and I think that can generally be accepted without providing too much support. But, for the sake of a well-rounded argument, just think back to the last thing you really, really wanted. Now, think about the next thing you really, really want. There's always something new that we want. So getting stuff can't make you happy because as soon as you get it, you want something else. Emile Durkheim (a sociologist) said something to the effect of satisfying a want only increases your appetite.
- If stuff can't make you happy, then money can't either. A survey (don't know the source, or for which country, but that's okay, trust me on this) found that all people needed to be happy was a pay raise of 15%. So, apparantly, no one makes enough to be happy.
- Relationships definitely provide a sense of fulfillment and worth, but when's the last time you had a truly amazing relationship with someone who was unhappy? Logically, then, it would follow that in order to experience fulfilling relationships, you need to be happy beforehand.
- Circumstances don't make us happy. Here's why: a study (again, I can't cite the source because it's just something I heard in a sermon once) found that after people suffered life-altering injuries, they returned to the same general level of happiness they were at before the injury.
So, all that said, if you want to be happy, you just have to decide to be happy. Of course, that's easier said than done. And joy, well, that's another topic. But here's a teaser: true joy can only come from a relationship with God.
Here's why:
- God never changes. So, while you're relationship to Him definitely affects your joy and happiness, it's not His fault if you're unhappy because He hasn't changed.
- Stuff doesn't make you happy and I think that can generally be accepted without providing too much support. But, for the sake of a well-rounded argument, just think back to the last thing you really, really wanted. Now, think about the next thing you really, really want. There's always something new that we want. So getting stuff can't make you happy because as soon as you get it, you want something else. Emile Durkheim (a sociologist) said something to the effect of satisfying a want only increases your appetite.
- If stuff can't make you happy, then money can't either. A survey (don't know the source, or for which country, but that's okay, trust me on this) found that all people needed to be happy was a pay raise of 15%. So, apparantly, no one makes enough to be happy.
- Relationships definitely provide a sense of fulfillment and worth, but when's the last time you had a truly amazing relationship with someone who was unhappy? Logically, then, it would follow that in order to experience fulfilling relationships, you need to be happy beforehand.
- Circumstances don't make us happy. Here's why: a study (again, I can't cite the source because it's just something I heard in a sermon once) found that after people suffered life-altering injuries, they returned to the same general level of happiness they were at before the injury.
So, all that said, if you want to be happy, you just have to decide to be happy. Of course, that's easier said than done. And joy, well, that's another topic. But here's a teaser: true joy can only come from a relationship with God.
Monday, January 02, 2006
The Requisite New Year Post
When I get tired, I either get really giddy or really grumpy. Usually the giddy happens when I am up late by my own choosing - I chose to drive 40 hours in one weekend, or I chose to stay up all night. The grumpy happens when I don't choose (can't sleep at night, or I got a ride with someone some place and they aren't ready to leave), or I indirectly choose (good old procrastination has led to staying up later than I'd like finishing school projects).
After all that explanation, I can now say that I chose to stay up all night on New Year's Eve/Day with my sister who was leaving for Montreal at 6:50 a.m. January 1st. And I was giddy to the point of embarassment for my family. We were at the airport, and fortunately my sister knew what to do, because the signs explaining the whole process were covered by some festive Christmas wreaths. (I'm assuming they said "1. Check in here" because there were other signs that you COULD see that said "2. Check baggage here") The girl in front of us did not have x-ray vision, however, so when the "friendly" Air Canada lady came through the line making sure everyone had their boarding passes, she did not. Now, we were obvious very willing to hold her place in line, but when she asked if she could leave her luggage, the Air Canada lady said, "we don't leave luggage unattended, this is an airport." To which I quietly replied (to my family), "oh, I was wondering what all those planes were doing out the back." Of course, that alone wouldn't have been embarassing for my sister, it was more the fact that I thought it was very funny and when her friend came back from wherever she had gone (probably tampering with people's luggage - it was an airport after all), I told her perhaps at a slightly larger volume than necessary (although I can't say for sure since my judgment was slightly impaired by a lack of sleep.)
You would not believe how much fun Skip-Bo and Uno are at 5 a.m. Neither game had I played in several years, but we played them that morning. Including our own(?) variation which including picking up cards until you had something you can play (in Uno) which inevitably lead to a hand FULL of cards pretty much every time. It was the game that just kept on going...
I have no New Year's Resolutions. But, at the risk of jinxing it, I WILL say that I am reading a book called "Today Matters" by John Maxwell. Kind of like "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey, but different and potentially better. (Although I can't say for sure... I am only assuming it's better because I'm sure John Maxwell has read "Seven Habits" and would not write his own book if he thought the habits book sufficed. All that said, "Seven Habits" is still on my list of books to read whenever someday comes) It always sucks that I read these kind of books when everyone else is making their resolutions, because the habits and changes I want to make as a result will seem like resolutions and thus be jinxed, but summer and Christmas are the only time I really have for reading and self-inspection.
It's amazing how much bad music is out there. But what's more amazing is that I have purchased so much bad music. I learn this as I have just spent much time ripping CDs onto my computer in order to put the music on my iPod. To be fair, I have spent a good 12 years buying CDs and my taste has evolved very much in that time.
Well, now we've drifted far away from the subject of New Year's. But I really have nothing to say. We are two days in now and I have spent most of the time in 2006 sleeping, cleaning my room and importing music onto my computer. Plus reading the book that is going to change my life (oops... not anymore, I jinxed it).
How is it that I've become so cynical already by the age of 24?
If you've stuck through until now, congratulations. Leave me a comment, please. (But not to tell me I'm an idiot, because I already know that. ;) )
After all that explanation, I can now say that I chose to stay up all night on New Year's Eve/Day with my sister who was leaving for Montreal at 6:50 a.m. January 1st. And I was giddy to the point of embarassment for my family. We were at the airport, and fortunately my sister knew what to do, because the signs explaining the whole process were covered by some festive Christmas wreaths. (I'm assuming they said "1. Check in here" because there were other signs that you COULD see that said "2. Check baggage here") The girl in front of us did not have x-ray vision, however, so when the "friendly" Air Canada lady came through the line making sure everyone had their boarding passes, she did not. Now, we were obvious very willing to hold her place in line, but when she asked if she could leave her luggage, the Air Canada lady said, "we don't leave luggage unattended, this is an airport." To which I quietly replied (to my family), "oh, I was wondering what all those planes were doing out the back." Of course, that alone wouldn't have been embarassing for my sister, it was more the fact that I thought it was very funny and when her friend came back from wherever she had gone (probably tampering with people's luggage - it was an airport after all), I told her perhaps at a slightly larger volume than necessary (although I can't say for sure since my judgment was slightly impaired by a lack of sleep.)
You would not believe how much fun Skip-Bo and Uno are at 5 a.m. Neither game had I played in several years, but we played them that morning. Including our own(?) variation which including picking up cards until you had something you can play (in Uno) which inevitably lead to a hand FULL of cards pretty much every time. It was the game that just kept on going...
I have no New Year's Resolutions. But, at the risk of jinxing it, I WILL say that I am reading a book called "Today Matters" by John Maxwell. Kind of like "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey, but different and potentially better. (Although I can't say for sure... I am only assuming it's better because I'm sure John Maxwell has read "Seven Habits" and would not write his own book if he thought the habits book sufficed. All that said, "Seven Habits" is still on my list of books to read whenever someday comes) It always sucks that I read these kind of books when everyone else is making their resolutions, because the habits and changes I want to make as a result will seem like resolutions and thus be jinxed, but summer and Christmas are the only time I really have for reading and self-inspection.
It's amazing how much bad music is out there. But what's more amazing is that I have purchased so much bad music. I learn this as I have just spent much time ripping CDs onto my computer in order to put the music on my iPod. To be fair, I have spent a good 12 years buying CDs and my taste has evolved very much in that time.
Well, now we've drifted far away from the subject of New Year's. But I really have nothing to say. We are two days in now and I have spent most of the time in 2006 sleeping, cleaning my room and importing music onto my computer. Plus reading the book that is going to change my life (oops... not anymore, I jinxed it).
How is it that I've become so cynical already by the age of 24?
If you've stuck through until now, congratulations. Leave me a comment, please. (But not to tell me I'm an idiot, because I already know that. ;) )
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Oops... one more thing...
The previous post needs some clarification...
For the first time in my life, I'm headed in the right direction. I LOVE business school, and I'm working toward something right now. My summer job is intended as very practical experience for the work force I will be entering in due time. The volunteering that I do is leading to the same thing. And the friends I am making at school will be good friends during my career as well. So, I'm not cynical and bitter... I don't need anything to change. 2006 is the first year I am heading into with a positive outlook and a sense that I really know where I'm going for once. There's no questioning the direction like I did when I was heading into computing science. There's no wondering if I'm going to get in to business school. There's no sense of responsibility to my job that's holding me back from anything.
I truly am moving forward and enjoying every moment of it.
For the first time in my life, I'm headed in the right direction. I LOVE business school, and I'm working toward something right now. My summer job is intended as very practical experience for the work force I will be entering in due time. The volunteering that I do is leading to the same thing. And the friends I am making at school will be good friends during my career as well. So, I'm not cynical and bitter... I don't need anything to change. 2006 is the first year I am heading into with a positive outlook and a sense that I really know where I'm going for once. There's no questioning the direction like I did when I was heading into computing science. There's no wondering if I'm going to get in to business school. There's no sense of responsibility to my job that's holding me back from anything.
I truly am moving forward and enjoying every moment of it.
Looking Ahead to 2006
Hmmm... well, 2006 will most likely be a repeat of 2005. Now, I know that probably isn't a good way to start off the year, but 2005 was an overall good year. And the structure of 2006 will be the same - a summer of day camp sandwiched with two semesters of school. Throw some volunteer work on top and you've got 2006.
I know that I'm supposed to set goals and New Year's resolutions and all that crap, but the truth is that the goal is beyond 2006 and the events of 2006 are just leading me there.
When I sat down to write this blog, I had intended to write something profound and make 2006 somehow different and more special than 2005, but I'd rather go into the year with low expectations. Day Camp will go well, once again, and I will do well in school... once again. Of course I want to grow and all that stuff, but why should I sit down and make a huge list of things in my life that need to change when the reality is that by February, I will have lost the list and the routine of my life will be the same as always - it never changes.
I am quite aware that I am sounding completely cynical, but it never hurts to have low expectations, because then you won't be disappointed.
So, here's what 2006 holds: two good, fun, educational semesters of school, a good learning experience running day camp during the summer, and some fun trips and experiences sprinkled throughout. I will continue to grow and learn, and that will be that.
And I will not fall in love, because I never have, and I never will. There is no more hoping that the new year will bring love to my doorstep. I am officially career woman now.
I know that I'm supposed to set goals and New Year's resolutions and all that crap, but the truth is that the goal is beyond 2006 and the events of 2006 are just leading me there.
When I sat down to write this blog, I had intended to write something profound and make 2006 somehow different and more special than 2005, but I'd rather go into the year with low expectations. Day Camp will go well, once again, and I will do well in school... once again. Of course I want to grow and all that stuff, but why should I sit down and make a huge list of things in my life that need to change when the reality is that by February, I will have lost the list and the routine of my life will be the same as always - it never changes.
I am quite aware that I am sounding completely cynical, but it never hurts to have low expectations, because then you won't be disappointed.
So, here's what 2006 holds: two good, fun, educational semesters of school, a good learning experience running day camp during the summer, and some fun trips and experiences sprinkled throughout. I will continue to grow and learn, and that will be that.
And I will not fall in love, because I never have, and I never will. There is no more hoping that the new year will bring love to my doorstep. I am officially career woman now.
*sigh*
My head is a jumble of thoughts tonight. Exams finished almost a week ago and life has been a whirlwind since then. Parties, getting ready for parties, shopping, work and, oh yeah, a day for just being sick. But now I get to breathe.
But when I sit down to breathe, I realize that a whole week of my life has just slipped by. A week that for months I was looking forward to because it was supposed to mean I was doing nothing and simply enjoying Christmas.
But now I'm not so sure that Christmas can be simply enjoyed. My friend and I were discussing this the other night, as we wondered where the magic had gone. When I was younger, Christmas was the time of Christmas musicals (which I LOVED), evening visits with the family around the advent wreath, singing and dancing to Amy Grant's "A Christmas Album" with my sisters and putting ornaments on the tree. And I LOVED the lights - the candles and the Christmas tree lights gave me a feeling like euphoria that I can't even describe. I used to sit in the room with all the main lights off and the candles and tree lights on and wish that Christmas could last forever. We have a nativity scene with 24 characters and bring one out each day in December. My sisters and I used to fight and fight over who got to choose that day's character, then we would play with them for hours. But now we barely remember to take them out.
And I don't know where it went - that magic that used to be Christmas. I don't know if I can blame exams. And I definitely can't blame the busy-ness of Christmas parties, because those are designed to invoke the magic. And it definitely isn't the lack of decoration and cheesy Christmas music in the malls. Nothing else has changed - only me.
Is it age? Now that I'm 24, a year is a 24th of my life. When I was 5, it was a fifth of my life. So Christmas came much less frequently. Maybe now we just get sick of it because it's Christmas so often? Christmas starts in November - as soon as the Halloween decorations are down. That's 1/6 of the year. Maybe Christmas just becomes much less precious.
By now you probably think I am going to make a point soon, but I really don't have one. The truth is that emotions shouldn't rule Christmas. The truth is that Christmas is a celebration of God's greatest gift to mankind: Himself. And it shouldn't matter how I FEEL about that... I still need to respond with worship and reverence. Perhaps I am being selfish in trying to rekindle the old FEELING of Christmas, because it shouldn't be about what I get from it.
And so, this post will end. Without anything significant or profound being said. Just a confused and tired 24-year-old girl trying to figure out life once again.
No matter how I feel, God, thank you for the sacrifice you made.
But when I sit down to breathe, I realize that a whole week of my life has just slipped by. A week that for months I was looking forward to because it was supposed to mean I was doing nothing and simply enjoying Christmas.
But now I'm not so sure that Christmas can be simply enjoyed. My friend and I were discussing this the other night, as we wondered where the magic had gone. When I was younger, Christmas was the time of Christmas musicals (which I LOVED), evening visits with the family around the advent wreath, singing and dancing to Amy Grant's "A Christmas Album" with my sisters and putting ornaments on the tree. And I LOVED the lights - the candles and the Christmas tree lights gave me a feeling like euphoria that I can't even describe. I used to sit in the room with all the main lights off and the candles and tree lights on and wish that Christmas could last forever. We have a nativity scene with 24 characters and bring one out each day in December. My sisters and I used to fight and fight over who got to choose that day's character, then we would play with them for hours. But now we barely remember to take them out.
And I don't know where it went - that magic that used to be Christmas. I don't know if I can blame exams. And I definitely can't blame the busy-ness of Christmas parties, because those are designed to invoke the magic. And it definitely isn't the lack of decoration and cheesy Christmas music in the malls. Nothing else has changed - only me.
Is it age? Now that I'm 24, a year is a 24th of my life. When I was 5, it was a fifth of my life. So Christmas came much less frequently. Maybe now we just get sick of it because it's Christmas so often? Christmas starts in November - as soon as the Halloween decorations are down. That's 1/6 of the year. Maybe Christmas just becomes much less precious.
By now you probably think I am going to make a point soon, but I really don't have one. The truth is that emotions shouldn't rule Christmas. The truth is that Christmas is a celebration of God's greatest gift to mankind: Himself. And it shouldn't matter how I FEEL about that... I still need to respond with worship and reverence. Perhaps I am being selfish in trying to rekindle the old FEELING of Christmas, because it shouldn't be about what I get from it.
And so, this post will end. Without anything significant or profound being said. Just a confused and tired 24-year-old girl trying to figure out life once again.
No matter how I feel, God, thank you for the sacrifice you made.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Done like Dinner
Finals are done.
I'm still in shock. I raced through this morning's multiple choice final and handed it in and then I was done.
So, I'm done now.
Unfortunately, I've got tonsilitis, so that's not fun, but I'm taking lots of Tylenol and keeping it in check. I'm less in pain and more just tired and out of it. And I now have to go clean the house and shovel the snow off the skating rink because I've got 50 people coming over for a Christmas party tonight.
But, I'm done.
Merry Christmas!
I'm still in shock. I raced through this morning's multiple choice final and handed it in and then I was done.
So, I'm done now.
Unfortunately, I've got tonsilitis, so that's not fun, but I'm taking lots of Tylenol and keeping it in check. I'm less in pain and more just tired and out of it. And I now have to go clean the house and shovel the snow off the skating rink because I've got 50 people coming over for a Christmas party tonight.
But, I'm done.
Merry Christmas!
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Three Down, One to Go...
Okay, I actually finished #3 on Thursday, but haven't posted anything because I've been too busy RELAXING. And then studying again today... you can only relax so much when you've got 8 chapters of Marketing textbook to read and review.
Getting sick, which TOTALLY sucks because I've been so busy over the last month and a half and things are finally winding down and now my body's rebelling. I guess better now than when I was in the thick of things.
Going to see Messiah tonight, which is going to be TOTALLY awesome. I'm really looking forward to it.
Anyway, I really have nothing interesting to say, as you can see, so adios.
Getting sick, which TOTALLY sucks because I've been so busy over the last month and a half and things are finally winding down and now my body's rebelling. I guess better now than when I was in the thick of things.
Going to see Messiah tonight, which is going to be TOTALLY awesome. I'm really looking forward to it.
Anyway, I really have nothing interesting to say, as you can see, so adios.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Two Down, Two to Go
I finished the most dreaded final of this term today. NO MORE BUS 201! It was a three hour exam on Excel, and it's done.
I didn't put my name on this one, either, but I didn't have to, so it wasn't a big problem.
Here's a seemingly random tidbit: to turn down the volume on an iPod, all you do is rotate that little wheel. You would think it's easy to figure out, but it's not.
We were allowed to bring music into this exam, since it was open book, so I borrowed my Mom's iPod. She showed me mostly how to use it, but didn't show me how to change the volume. So, I was in a relaxed mood listening to "For Unto Us a Child is Born" from Handel's Messiah when suddenly I realized everyone around me kept glancing at me and laughing because the music was so loud. I couldn't figure out how to turn it down, so I just had to turn it off. Sad times.
Anyway, Management Science is tomorrow and after that it's smooth sailing until I write Marketing next Tuesday.
I didn't put my name on this one, either, but I didn't have to, so it wasn't a big problem.
Here's a seemingly random tidbit: to turn down the volume on an iPod, all you do is rotate that little wheel. You would think it's easy to figure out, but it's not.
We were allowed to bring music into this exam, since it was open book, so I borrowed my Mom's iPod. She showed me mostly how to use it, but didn't show me how to change the volume. So, I was in a relaxed mood listening to "For Unto Us a Child is Born" from Handel's Messiah when suddenly I realized everyone around me kept glancing at me and laughing because the music was so loud. I couldn't figure out how to turn it down, so I just had to turn it off. Sad times.
Anyway, Management Science is tomorrow and after that it's smooth sailing until I write Marketing next Tuesday.
Monday, December 12, 2005
One Down, Three to Go
Finished my first final today. Forgot to write my name on it. (All is not in vain, though, as I am 99% sure that I DID remember to put my ID number.)
Finals would be much less stressful if I didn't want to go to grad school one day. I made that decision this weekend. How will I ever be the CEO of a company without my MBA?
Finals would be much less stressful if I didn't want to go to grad school one day. I made that decision this weekend. How will I ever be the CEO of a company without my MBA?
Saturday, December 10, 2005
2005 Year in Review
Saw someone else doing this in a blog, so I figured I would start as well.
The general outlook on 2005 for me was generally positive. Maybe not always, as there were some definite rough patches, but I would say that 2005 was a year of significant accomplishments and just generally moving forward in a very positive direction.
January Highlights:
I managed to work my school schedule so I only had classes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. (Okay, lame-o, I know, but it was a long time ago! How am I supposed to remember?)
February Highlights:
Accepted my summer job as day camp coordinator at my church... after the children's pastor hunted me down for months.
March Highlights:
Went snowboarding in the mountains for the first time. It was an enlightening experience in the sense that I learned just how much I prefer skiing quickly down black diamond runs to sitting tired and sore in the middle of a green run with a snowboard strapped to my feet.
At the end of March, I found out I had been admitted to Business school... which not only gave me the opportunity to create a great schedule, but also took the pressure off with final exams.
April Highlights:
The biggest memory from April is how much fun exams were. It was beautifully sunny, and I got my first bad burn of the season sitting outside on a picnic table with my friends memorizing dates for a history exam. Now, you may not think getting burned was a highlight, but it was the sun and beautiful weather that made it all worthwhile. One of my friends also started dating the guy she is now engaged to during this exam time, and it was really exciting to be with her for the start of all that.
May Highlights:
Started my summer job and it was just an all around good experience. I learned to appreciate school because of the flexibility of the schedule (despite the heinous amount of work I don't get paid for).
June Highlights:
June really is a blur, to be honest. I think it was in June that my sister came home from Montreal, so it was good to have her around again.
July Highlights:
First week of Day Camp made for an incredibly busy July. I worked more during July than I have worked in any other month, except maybe the months I spent working at camp when I was on staff there. However, all the hard work paid off and our camps were incredibly successful - a huge blessing to me.
August Highlights:
I inherited a dog, a car and a house for the month as I was housesitting for a couple who had gone to the Philippines. I loved having a dog and it was really awesome to have my own space for that month which was again really busy. Of course, I had people over on a frequent basis and it was a more relaxed end for the summer for me.
September Highlights:
Started business school. Love it. Absolutely love it. Met some awesome people.
October Highlights:
Road trip to Seattle to see my favorite band - Switchfoot - in concert. For a weekend. I spent over 20 hours behind the wheel of our van in three days, and I wasn't the only driver. But it was all worth it, as we met up with my best friend in Vancouver for the trip down to Seattle.
November Highlights:
November was an incredibly busy month, but a big part of me really thrived on that. Group projects and assignments dominated my every free moment, but in the process I made some great friends and got to build my teamwork skills.
December Highlights:
Yet to come, I suppose, as it is only the 10th. It would be unfair to comment until January. I am looking forward to relaxing as exams finish and spending some time doing a lot of nothing. Catching up with friends who have been away and friends who have been here, but just too busy to hang out. That's the agenda.
There have been low points, too... But what would be the point of dwelling on them?
As January and 2006 approach, I'll probably do a post on what I'm looking forward to in 2006.
And alas, the practice final for my business class is calling my name and I should stop procrastinating...
The general outlook on 2005 for me was generally positive. Maybe not always, as there were some definite rough patches, but I would say that 2005 was a year of significant accomplishments and just generally moving forward in a very positive direction.
January Highlights:
I managed to work my school schedule so I only had classes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. (Okay, lame-o, I know, but it was a long time ago! How am I supposed to remember?)
February Highlights:
Accepted my summer job as day camp coordinator at my church... after the children's pastor hunted me down for months.
March Highlights:
Went snowboarding in the mountains for the first time. It was an enlightening experience in the sense that I learned just how much I prefer skiing quickly down black diamond runs to sitting tired and sore in the middle of a green run with a snowboard strapped to my feet.
At the end of March, I found out I had been admitted to Business school... which not only gave me the opportunity to create a great schedule, but also took the pressure off with final exams.
April Highlights:
The biggest memory from April is how much fun exams were. It was beautifully sunny, and I got my first bad burn of the season sitting outside on a picnic table with my friends memorizing dates for a history exam. Now, you may not think getting burned was a highlight, but it was the sun and beautiful weather that made it all worthwhile. One of my friends also started dating the guy she is now engaged to during this exam time, and it was really exciting to be with her for the start of all that.
May Highlights:
Started my summer job and it was just an all around good experience. I learned to appreciate school because of the flexibility of the schedule (despite the heinous amount of work I don't get paid for).
June Highlights:
June really is a blur, to be honest. I think it was in June that my sister came home from Montreal, so it was good to have her around again.
July Highlights:
First week of Day Camp made for an incredibly busy July. I worked more during July than I have worked in any other month, except maybe the months I spent working at camp when I was on staff there. However, all the hard work paid off and our camps were incredibly successful - a huge blessing to me.
August Highlights:
I inherited a dog, a car and a house for the month as I was housesitting for a couple who had gone to the Philippines. I loved having a dog and it was really awesome to have my own space for that month which was again really busy. Of course, I had people over on a frequent basis and it was a more relaxed end for the summer for me.
September Highlights:
Started business school. Love it. Absolutely love it. Met some awesome people.
October Highlights:
Road trip to Seattle to see my favorite band - Switchfoot - in concert. For a weekend. I spent over 20 hours behind the wheel of our van in three days, and I wasn't the only driver. But it was all worth it, as we met up with my best friend in Vancouver for the trip down to Seattle.
November Highlights:
November was an incredibly busy month, but a big part of me really thrived on that. Group projects and assignments dominated my every free moment, but in the process I made some great friends and got to build my teamwork skills.
December Highlights:
Yet to come, I suppose, as it is only the 10th. It would be unfair to comment until January. I am looking forward to relaxing as exams finish and spending some time doing a lot of nothing. Catching up with friends who have been away and friends who have been here, but just too busy to hang out. That's the agenda.
There have been low points, too... But what would be the point of dwelling on them?
As January and 2006 approach, I'll probably do a post on what I'm looking forward to in 2006.
And alas, the practice final for my business class is calling my name and I should stop procrastinating...
Is there anything more beautiful than a good conversation?
Yes, I suppose there is.
Tonight I had a great time - went to a friend's birthday party and we sat around discussing and solving all the world's problems: the yuppy obsession with pets; affirmative action; Paul Martin's "brilliant" ban on hand guns, especially the illegal ones (yes I am being sarcastic); raising children; censorship; hypocrisy in the church; employers of choice (nap rooms and billiard rooms lead to increased productivity and greater workplace safety); education; discipline vs. desire in our relationship with God and many other topics of great interest to me... and finished sharing stories of summers spent working at camp. The beautiful part was that there were no big arguments, just insightful thoughts.
Unfortunately, it is 2:30 a.m. and I can't sleep in too late tomorrow and my eyes are red and swollen because I was allergic to the beautiful kitten that I kept trying to hold. (I hate cats, but kittens will always hold a special place in my heart...) But it was worth it. And one of the best parts of the evening was that there was a kitten at the house and another couple brought their three-month-old puppy.
Baby animals and great conversation... what more could I ask for?
Tonight I had a great time - went to a friend's birthday party and we sat around discussing and solving all the world's problems: the yuppy obsession with pets; affirmative action; Paul Martin's "brilliant" ban on hand guns, especially the illegal ones (yes I am being sarcastic); raising children; censorship; hypocrisy in the church; employers of choice (nap rooms and billiard rooms lead to increased productivity and greater workplace safety); education; discipline vs. desire in our relationship with God and many other topics of great interest to me... and finished sharing stories of summers spent working at camp. The beautiful part was that there were no big arguments, just insightful thoughts.
Unfortunately, it is 2:30 a.m. and I can't sleep in too late tomorrow and my eyes are red and swollen because I was allergic to the beautiful kitten that I kept trying to hold. (I hate cats, but kittens will always hold a special place in my heart...) But it was worth it. And one of the best parts of the evening was that there was a kitten at the house and another couple brought their three-month-old puppy.
Baby animals and great conversation... what more could I ask for?
Friday, December 09, 2005
Warm Days, Finals and Other Ponderings
Oh, the joys of Edmonton weather. Tuesday was so cold, everyone had their Eskimo parkas on. I think it was at least -20. The ground was covered in a nice, thick blanket of snow, assuring all who cared that we were certain to have a White Christmas.
Today, those hopes are in jeopardy, as the weather warmed up to a balmy 8 degrees and all the snow melted away. Although I'm sure that in the next two weeks, the weather will drop and it will snow once again, it felt wrong to be listening to Christmas music on the way home from school. To be honest, there's something magical about a cold December and drinking hot chocolate to warm up. It just feels that much more... romantic... in a 19th century novel kind of way. Oh well, my anthem for today: "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow..."
But, to think I missed the balmy "winter" day to be inside studying. Now that I've achieved the goal of the past few years of getting into Business school (note: I didn't get rejected that many times, that's just how much time it's been since I thought "I'd like to go into business," did all my prerequisites, and raised my GPA), there seems to be little practical reason to do well in my classes. I decided at the beginning of the semester that my goal for the remainder of my degree was to learn, rather than get good marks. But, here I am, writing out cue cards to memorize meaningless definitions for my Marketing exam... and skimping on studying for my Management Science exam because I can do well without really knowing what I am doing. I don't know why it is so firmly embedded in me that marks matter... because no one else cares. Anyway, it is a mystery I could ponder for sentences and paragraphs and blog posts without ever finding an answer, and boring everyone to death, so I'll stop now.
I said there would be other ponderings in this blog, but I don't know yet what they are... it just sounded more poetic to add it to the end of the title. And alas, I must go clean the bathroom now. That is the poetry of real life. At Christmas, I always want to feel like I am somehow a literary character or something... it is such a reflective time and I always think big thoughts. But then real life calls in the form of a dirty toilet and impending company and I am jolted from that literary romance. And with that, I depart from the life in my head to the trudging reality that is.
Today, those hopes are in jeopardy, as the weather warmed up to a balmy 8 degrees and all the snow melted away. Although I'm sure that in the next two weeks, the weather will drop and it will snow once again, it felt wrong to be listening to Christmas music on the way home from school. To be honest, there's something magical about a cold December and drinking hot chocolate to warm up. It just feels that much more... romantic... in a 19th century novel kind of way. Oh well, my anthem for today: "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow..."
But, to think I missed the balmy "winter" day to be inside studying. Now that I've achieved the goal of the past few years of getting into Business school (note: I didn't get rejected that many times, that's just how much time it's been since I thought "I'd like to go into business," did all my prerequisites, and raised my GPA), there seems to be little practical reason to do well in my classes. I decided at the beginning of the semester that my goal for the remainder of my degree was to learn, rather than get good marks. But, here I am, writing out cue cards to memorize meaningless definitions for my Marketing exam... and skimping on studying for my Management Science exam because I can do well without really knowing what I am doing. I don't know why it is so firmly embedded in me that marks matter... because no one else cares. Anyway, it is a mystery I could ponder for sentences and paragraphs and blog posts without ever finding an answer, and boring everyone to death, so I'll stop now.
I said there would be other ponderings in this blog, but I don't know yet what they are... it just sounded more poetic to add it to the end of the title. And alas, I must go clean the bathroom now. That is the poetry of real life. At Christmas, I always want to feel like I am somehow a literary character or something... it is such a reflective time and I always think big thoughts. But then real life calls in the form of a dirty toilet and impending company and I am jolted from that literary romance. And with that, I depart from the life in my head to the trudging reality that is.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Nine Months Later...
My sister just pointed out to me that I hadn't blogged for a while. So, here it is... I'll try to get in the habit again. I miss writing.
I'm in Business school now. It's great. The big decision of my life these days is whether or not I want to do a double major... or even if I can. It would have been much more simple if I didn't have such a great Accounting prof this semester. Never in a million years would I have dreamed of majoring in Accounting... But now I might.
Anyway, I have to leave for school in 5 minutes and am not quite ready to walk out the door. So, tootles... and check back often... it's exam time, so I'll be procrastinating.
I'm in Business school now. It's great. The big decision of my life these days is whether or not I want to do a double major... or even if I can. It would have been much more simple if I didn't have such a great Accounting prof this semester. Never in a million years would I have dreamed of majoring in Accounting... But now I might.
Anyway, I have to leave for school in 5 minutes and am not quite ready to walk out the door. So, tootles... and check back often... it's exam time, so I'll be procrastinating.
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