Saturday, May 16, 2009

Blog With an Identity Crisis

Though I haven't started writing, I have a feeling this might get long. You may want to grab a cup of tea before you start reading... I know I just did.

As I mentioned in my previous blog posting, this recent surge of blogging activity has been due to inspiration from the Darden Student Bloggers. After spending time over the last few days reading over their blogs, I decided that I would read another blog: my own. I went back in time to 2005 and reminisced over the trials, lessons, joys and pains of the last four years.

It was quite interesting to get reacquainted with myself. It was interesting to look back on my dreams and ambitions of years past and see how far I've come. I'm actually amazed, not only at how my goals and career ambitions have remained solid, but at how much progress has been made against those goals.

But I digress...

When I first started blogging, it was an outlet of exploring my life and my faith and their interactions. As I've developed more and more of a passion for things like business, social justice and corporate social responsibility (CSR), I've blogged about those things as well. And, more recently, I've put forth a practical, more newsy voice as I talk about the specifics of moving to the US to attend a top business school. (Yes, I have to keep writing that, since Darden isn't as well known here in Western Canada!)

So I'm at a point where I don't really know whether I should be blogging about deep thoughts on life, my faith, business, social justice and responsibility or my upcoming life at Darden. And, my strategic mind things that all of these belong on separate blogs, maintained by separate identities.

But I think the big challenge and joy in life is learning to merge all that we are. I should never be shy about my faith. Even though there are Christians out there who have made it embarassing at times to claim ties to this faith (and, to be fair, I am FAR from perfect or even loving or graceful), it is still something that is absolutely foundational to who I am. My faith and business cannot be separate.

At the same time, I can't separate out my passions for business, social justice and CSR. And while those things may not seem as though they fit together, they are the main motivation for pursuing an MBA. And the social justice is rooted in my faith...

And I don't want to separate out my journeys to Darden. There has been something encouraging and inspiring about reading about the student blogs, and I want a record of my own journeys. I love looking back on my own journey and seeing how things really did end up. It ties back to my faith and seeing God's hand in the ordinary, sometimes mundane, yet entirely beautiful journey of my life.

So, here it is, unapologetically: my blog with an identity crisis. If I were attempting to make revenue from this blog, I would separate it into three or four blogs to attract different audiences.

But I'm not. And the truth is that while others may eavesdrop, (and I do try to pan my perspectives out to be broader than my own circumstances) this blog is ultimately for me. Reading over the last four years of my life, I've gotten back in touch with a girl who loves to think, ponder and write, and I'd like to keep her around a little more.

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