Observations on the South of the 49th Parallel and South of the Mason-Dixon Line

After living in the South for just over a month, there are a collection of observations which I have been gleaning about cultural differences between life back home in Canada and life here in Virginia.

1. Service staff are incredibly friendly down here. I don't know if it was the intense labour shortages in Alberta due to the oil industry, or if it's a cultural thing, but I have consistently had great conversations with the grocery check-out clerk, the lady ringing me through for my oil change, the women running the tills at Cafe 67 and generally everyone I encounter.
2. The accent gets less noticeable. I have become accustomed to the usage of "y'all" in everyday language, though I have not adopted it myself.

And now, some observations on the differences between Americans and Canadians.

1. Americans don't know what a "toque" is. I don't know if it's because it's not cold enough that they need a special word to denote the distinction between a hat worn in the cold from one worn to the Kentucky Derby, but when I've used the word "toque" I get blank expressions. (Note to Americans: a "toque" is a woolen hat worn in the winter used to keep the head and ears warm.)
2. Equally blank looks come my way when I pronounce the last letter of the alphabet as "zed" instead of "zee."
3. Even though I said "eh?" when I lived in Canada, it is either more noticeable here because of the Canadian stereotype or I actually say it more, for the same reason.
4. I am having a hard time getting out of the habit of using Canadian spelling, even though my spell-checker gets mad every time I type "labour."
5. Health care is a big topic of discussion here. I get asked a lot about the Canadian system, and am never entirely sure what to say. On the one hand, I can't fathom living in a place where if you get sick, you're SOL. On the other hand, with the population differences, and certain strengths in the US health care system, there is no way the Canadian system can be applied in the US. Americans find it hard to believe that the thought of two-tier health care evokes such strong negative reactions for Canadians.
6. Speaking of politics, I explained to someone last night that the Canadian political system is generally more left-wing than the American system.

And that is all for now...

Purpose-Centered and Bridezilla

Although it is the class in which I will most likely get the worst grades, I have been appreciating some of the readings we have been doing for LO (Leading Organizations). As my roommate and I watched "Bridezilla" over lunch today, I could envision all sorts of practical applications for the class, so I will present the concept of "purpose-centered" through the use of a case vignette and analysis.

When Christina showed up to her wedding reception venue, she was completely shocked to find that instead of going all the way to the ground, the table linens were a good half-inch above the ground. This may not have triggered such an emotional reaction if it had not been such an awful week. Her bridesmaids, specifically chosen for their size, had not only lost weight, but insisted on wearing control garments in order to make their bridesmaid dresses more flattering. Later, forgetting that it was a winter wedding, her bridesmaids were unprepared to stand out in the cold of winter in their strapless dresses for the rehearsal, and insisted on wearing pajamas over their shoulders. The worst part of the week had been the big fight with her fiance, who claimed it would be okay to have the ceremony in the gazebo! How could he not understand this was the most important day of her life, and that the aesthetics of the gazebo simply would not do?

Although there are many frameworks that can be applied to this situation (in particular, the model on self-awareness), I would like to analyze it from a problem- vs. purpose-centered approach. Right now, Christina is very focused on the small things, and what she sees as the immediate solution to her problem. Her thinking is focused on the details of her wedding day and how she will appear to everyone. If Christina were to take a step back, and look at the big picture, she would realize that what really matters is getting married to John. It doesn't matter whether her bridesmaids are more or less attractive than her, or that she has to wait an additional 30 seconds for the horse and carriage to get to her. None of the guests will notice the length of the tablecloths. All that matters is that she say "I do" and sign the papers that will result in her marriage to John.

What Christina needs to do is take a step back and figure out why she is concerned over tablecloth length and bridesmaid size. Perhaps there are insecurities that need to be dealt with on a deeper level. It is unlikely that having heavy bridesmaids or the right linens will ultimately solve these issues.

A Weeknight With No Learning Team?

After two and a half weeks of classes, case prep, learning team, more case prep, go to bed, repeat, there came a reprieve today. Tomorrow, while we have classes, there are no cases to prepare! For OPS (Operations, in case you couldn't figure out that acronym...), we are doing a simulation which promises to be quite fun. (But only because I'm a total nerd. Any non-nerds may not find the same kind of joy from playing games about making things more efficient.) In Marketing, we have execs coming from Google and Progressive to present to us. And then we do Honor Orientation. (Third time for me... wonder if I could get out of it by telling them I already know not to lie, cheat or steal?)

With no cases to prepare for tomorrow, there comes a very rare Wednesday evening treat: no learning team. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't LIKE my learning team. I just don't consider the most exciting use of my evening to be sitting around discussing cost allocation methods.

So after weighing several social options for the evening (because at Darden, a free evening is instantly filled), I am headed over for a relaxing evening of movie watching at a friend's place. I guess the pile of banking, resume building, target company list making and cleaning can wait until tomorrow.

Section B Blogger Shout-Out

Since I have enjoyed reading the blogs of some of my fellow Section B mates, I figured I would just give a shout out to some of the blogs I have been reading. Two of the bloggers were actually journalists in their past lives, and they all take a very creative approach to chronicalling life at Darden and in Charlottesville, so I hope you enjoy.

Miss MBA blogs about what she is learning each week in class, as well as random Charlottesville incidents like the aggressive fox and the panty thief.

Forks in the Road talks a little more about life in Charlottesville.

Sierra Does Darden has a very creative approach and talks about what happens to your brain on Darden...

Second Week in the Bag!

My second week at Darden has officially come to a close. I just finished the last module of my marketing assignment and am not looking at another case or assignment until Sunday afternoon rolls around!

Some thoughts...

1) Class participation is significantly more difficult than I was anticipating. In undergrad, I could generally contribute really well. The prof generally knew that she could count on me when the conversation lagged, and my understanding of the material was generally better than the rest of the class. Here, however, everyone's type-A and a freaking genius. I struggle finding the balance of when to go back to a point and when to just let it go. I feel as though I made some major blunders this week, but I guess it's just a learning and growing experience, right?

2) It's interesting navigating the social scene. As I wrote out an email yesterday to invite people to my place for board games, I realized that I didn't know who all to include! I didn't want to forget anyone, nor did I want to invite the whole class. So I just sent it to the people who came to mind and told them to pass it on. I'll probably invite more people tonight at the Cold Call, but with keg races to compete with, I'm optimistic that I won't find more people than I can fit in my apartment.

Anyway, one thing that I have learned in my short time at Darden is that if you get there even 10 minutes late, there is no food left. As someone with a newfound appreciation for free food, I had better head off to tonight's Cold Call lest I have to come home and make supper for myself...

Limited Time and the Importance of Value-Add

The concept of "value-added" is, to me, one of the single most important concepts in business and business strategy. While I spent a significant amount of time analyzing our "value proposition" when I worked for the Company, and have spent time analyzing the same for case studies, I have been finding a new application to the concept here in B-school.

For those not familiar with the terms "value-added" or "value proposition," they are basically the notion that a business has to do something that adds value to its customers. For simple manufacturing companies, the value is straight-forward: they provide a part necessary for the business. Companies can also provide support services that add value, such as just-in-time delivery. Companies should be wary of investing activities that do not add value to their clients. This is probably over-simplistic, but the explanation will serve for the purposes of the rest of this blog.

One thing that I am learning now that life is crazy-busy is the importance of value-added activities. I made the mistake of downloading this addictive little game to my iPhone that I frequently find myself playing. It's a terrible habit since I rarely feel refreshed after playing this game. I am learning that I need to incorporate value-added breaks into my study afternoons: going for a run, reading positive/encouraging emails, writing in my blog, having a good conversation with a friend from home. All of these things refresh me and help me to focus.

With more to do than time to do it, I find the same concept applies to my studies. Often there is more reading/analysis than I can fit in my limited time. I need to be sure to maximize my time by avoiding the "fluff" reading and focusing in on what is really important.

Conviction and Getting Out of the Box

Have you ever been hit by something that was so simple it figuratively knocked you off your feet?

For my Leading Organizations (LO) class, we had to read a book called "Leadership and Self Deception." While it is hard to get into the specifics of the book, the basic premise is that when we are "in the box," we see other people as objects. When we are "out of the box," we see other people as people. Our behaviours can be the same whether we are in or out of the box, but our attitudes (whether we are in or out of the box) affect how we see others and how they see us.

At first, I thought this whole box thinking was as simple as Philippians 2, which states that we should look not only to our own interests, but also to the interests of others. But as I read further, I realized the strong implications of being in the box. Being in the box means that we elevate our own needs and self-perceptions and project negative intentions on others. We consider their perspectives and needs as less important than our own. Even as I write this, I can think of some major issues that I have that have stemmed from me being unwilling to get out of the box.

Fortunately, getting out of the box is quite simple. All you really have to do is recognize that you are in and get out. It means choosing to view others as people, with their own unique needs that are just as important as our own.

Anyway, while I have tried mightily to explain this whole box concept, if you are at all intrigued or confused by what I have written, I do encourage you to check out the book on your own. It is a quick easy read!

Refreshed

After a week of ups and downs, highs and lows, I felt like I got my perspective back. As I mentioned earlier this week, there were days that I wondered what in the world I had chosen to do. In the past three weeks, I have stretched my comfort zone and felt overwhelmed. While I haven't felt lonely, there have definitely been days that I longed to just catch up with someone who really knew me. Someone with whom I could let down my guard and just be myself with. (Not that I can't be that here, but it just takes time.)

Being someone who has been relatively accomplished in the typical sense, I have also been levelled this week, as I am surrounded by insanely successful people. Sure, I have a university degree and made Dean's List... but I didn't go to Harvard. It's easy to feel "small" in this environment, especially as you watch someone tear your resume to shreds.

A second year told me that church was her anchor during first year. And this morning, I felt that anchor so very tangibly. As I joined in worship with brand new friends, and complete strangers, I realized that we are part of the same community. Singing words like, "you are all I need, you are all I want" brings back my perspective and reminds me that it's really not about me. And God doesn't think I'm "small"... But I need to remember that my worth and my value come not from my accomplishments, or even my accomplishments relative to others, and not from how the rest of the world views me... but from the fact that I am a child of God.

And now, after enjoying a weekend off, it is time to get back into books and cases.

"Trust the Process"

Calculating cannibalization break-even rates in Marketing today, I realized that I am learning something here. The week has gone up and down in terms of my coping and frustration levels. There are days when I wonder why I gave up a salary, free time and left all my friends behind in Edmonton. Today was not one of those days. Going through our marketing case, I experienced the very tangible feeling that I was Learning.

"Trust the process" is a phrase that becomes ingrained in everyone who has anything to do with Darden. I do not always Trust the process. There are days, like yesterday, where I Loathe the process. To avoid rattling off my day, I will just reiterate that we are given approximately 130% of what we can actually accomplish. But the reinforcement process is so valuable. By the time I am sitting in class, I've already gone through a case on my own and dissected it with my learning team. Amazingly enough, there are STILL things left to learn in class. And it's during class, when you get those "Ah-hah!" moments, that you realize this is all worthwhile.

The Day 3G Came to Charlottesville

This morning, as I was checking Twitter, I noticed two tiny little characters at the top of my iPhone that changed everything.

"3G"

For most of the world, these characters are relatively inconsequential. But for the people of Charlottesville, they symbolized a historic moment.

The buzz first began on Twitter, but by First Coffee, the news was everywhere. I came back to my classroom after grabbing some tea, and the guy in front of me in my section said, "did you hear about 3G?" Of course I had, but we high-fived over the joyous news.

Updating the ever-so-important Twitter newsfeed now takes seconds, instead of the previous minute that often timed out. I can now ACTUALLY check my Facebook messages! And downloading apps is an option from somewhere other than being connected to the wireless at my apartment.

Yes, this was a very good day in Charlottesville.

The Importance of the "Hour a Day"

Last week, we were told that no matter what, we should spend an hour a day doing something "fun" and non-school related, whether it's going to the gym, talking to a friend from home or whatever.

Today I did not do that, and I can understand why it is so important.

We were warned that we would be given 130% of what we could accomplish. One of the key skills we learn at Darden is time management and prioritization, and three days in, I can already see that lesson beginning to unfold.

After feeling like I was dragging all day, I will now make a renewed commitment to the hour-a-day rule. It makes me much more effective for the other 23..

First Day in the Bag

Lessons learned today:

1. Free time is an insanely precious commodity. You may think it's not a big deal that you forgot to get one textbook and have to go back to the bookstore and stand in line. Then as 7 approaches rapidly and you are still furiously trying to skim over your OPS case before learning team, you realize you should have planned better.
2. Taking breaks is still important. I managed to get in a run and a short visit with my sister this afternoon. I think these things are important... it's those fluff things like going back to the bookstore that need to be avoided.
3. You can never be too prepared for class, but you never can be. Okay, convoluted sentence. Basically, if you know everything about the company in the case discussion, discussed all the answers thoroughly with your learning team and spent five hours reading the supplementary materials, that's a good start for prepping for the case discussion. However, you don't have time for all those things, so you have to figure out how to prioritize.

Those are just some things I've learned over the last two days. Now, at 11:11, I am off to read my "Leadership and Self-Deception" book, since there is no way I'm going to get to it during the afternoons.

Classes Start Tomorrow And...

The rumour of the intense first-year at Darden has been confirmed.

It's 10:38 p.m. I have class tomorrow at 8 a.m., but I still have to finish up my personal career plan before going to bed.

It isn't that I've been slacking all day... I was up at 7:30 cleaning my bathroom... But there's just so much to do.

On the plus side, my learning team is really great. I had them all over for supper today before we discussed tomorrow's cases, and it was a great time. I feel that the evening had a great balance between visiting and getting to know each other and going through the case material. If I wasn't intimidated about this adventure before, I have people in my learning team who did undergrad at Harvard, MIT and Penn.

And We're Off

Yesterday, I sat in Abbott Auditorium with my 310 peers, the people I will be graduating with in less than 2 years. It is interesting to think of it that way, but we finished yesterday's Office of Student Affairs introduction by writing a letter to ourselves that will be in our mailboxes the day we graduate.

The kick-off and welcome session was one of those moments that for me was the culmination of many months of anticipation. For details on the class demographics and specifics of the event, I will simply refer you to the Darden article about the class.

This week has been intense. I have heard time and time again that Darden has the most rigorous first year program of any MBA, and judging from this week, which has only been the lead-up to the start of Q1, it will most certainly prove to be true. I am sitting here in my office cherishing the quiet part of my Friday evening, hoping that the phone doesn't ring so I don't have to be tempted to go out. I've been out late most nights this week, and getting up early every morning.

And now, at the risk of rambling off on yet another unrelated topic, we were assigned our learning teams today. If you are not familiar with Darden, I'll try to explain the anticipation that has come with section and learning team assignments. I started meeting people at the applicant stage, where I spent way too much time on BusinessWeek's student application forum. Then once we were actually accepted, I started meeting and emailing more people. Since arriving in Charlottesville on August 5, I have met so many people that I'm starting to forget names I had previously remembered.

So by the time sections are announced, you have already met a lot of really cool people that you would love to be in a section with. On Monday, when section announcements were made, I was excited to see this was the case! Today, as we sat in Abbott Auditorium waiting to be released to find out who was in our learning team, there was a palpable anticipation in the air. Learning teams are an integral part of the Darden curriculum. They are step two in the case study method, and a functioning learning team is a vital part of academic success.

I was pleased to discover that my learning team is really awesome. We fought valiantly through this afternoon's bonding activities, despite the intense heat. We have a variety of backgrounds and judging from today, everyone seems to be willing to work hard to make LT work. I am, ironically, the only person who wasn't living in the US (yay for being the token international student!), though two of my teammates were born in Russia and one of them is not an American citizen. The BEST part of my learning team is that there is another girl! Someone had warned me that I might be the only one, so I was happy when I looked down the list and saw a distinctively female name.

Anyway, this has been way too long! It's been a good week, but I am tuckered out and looking forward to resting tonight so I can head off to the mountains for a hike tomorrow.

In the Big Leagues Now

As I saw the personal contact info for an investment banker at Morgan Stanley splashed across the screen today, the sheer power of the Darden alumni network really hit home. Coming from Canada, everything is very small-business oriented. I meet Presidents, Partners and CEOs quite regularly, but they are usually self-made entrepreneurs. After learning a lot more about I-Banking during the MBA application process, the gravity of where I am now is really hitting home.

There are many things I could write about today: section announcements (I am in Section B, which is pretty much the best section. A few people that I had already started getting to know are in B as well, so that is great. On the down side, I didn't get a Kindle), the weather (still unbearably hot), my long-gone nights of 7-8 hours of sleep or my slowly-becoming-insane schedule. (I am fighting to keep up with email and classes haven't even started...) However, as the career search has been foremost on my mind, I want to touch on that and the career management process at Darden.

Long before I started the MBA application process, I knew I wanted to go into strategy consulting. I want the fast-paced nature of the job, the travel involved, the challenge of new assignments and the opportunity to work with really bright people. I am not an expert in what consulting entails, but from what I know, it seems to be a perfect niche.

The economy being as it is right now, however, is forcing me to examine alternative routes and options. While consulting internships are historically competitive, with hiring down, they are brutally so this year. Since I don't want to reach the end of January and be left with no consulting offers and THEN start searching for alternative routes, I am using this time to give considerate thought into what would also be good careers for me.

The Darden career management process focusses heavily on fit. Each of us have our own unique attributes, personalities, needs, etc. Companies and job functions complement these needs to varying degrees. As I have been sitting in the career discovery forum all day, I've been paying close attention to what resonates with me. For example, while my strength with numbers could be a good fit for corporate finance, being so focused on numbers alone would drive me crazy. Although marketing is not until tomorrow, I know that focusing only on marketing would also drive me crazy. So as I look for jobs in industry, I need either something that will provide a general management rotation (work for a while in finance, then marketing, then operations, etc.) or for a company that will allow me to rotate even without a formalized career track for rotation.

Anyway, there are a lot of other thoughts that have been going through my mind, but I don't need to go on about my own personal discoveries. And I have to go get ready for tonight's networking etiquette dinner... :-)

Heights of Anticipation

Tomorrow is a big day.

Tomorrow we find out which section we are in, who else is in our section, and which section gets to do the Kindle trial.

Tonight, by way of default, is a big night. It's our last official night of freedom before the program begins. There is a big party at a bar downtown, and I am at home doing laundry.

Sad story, I know. But somehow in the hustle and bustle and constant temperature changes, I developed a nasty cold. I lasted through a reception at one of our professor's houses. (Gorgeous home in the VA countryside, and yes, you read that right, about 10 faculty opened their homes to students this afternoon.) Then I lasted through dinner at a local Italian place. But when I got home and saw my roommate all dressed and ready to go out, I just didn't have it in me. So I will instead relax, get some rest, maybe consume some Vitamin C, and hopefully feel better in the morning.

Orientations and Adjustments

The past week, as suggested by the title for this post, has been filled with orientations and adjustments. I debated writing several blog posts about each of these things, but as another day has zipped by and I am long overdue for bed, I think I'll just try to get to the meat and pull it all together.

International Student Orientation (referred to hereinafter as ISO) was interesting. On the positive side of things, it was really great to meet my classmates that are coming from all the different corners of the globe. The perspective that they bring will absolutely enhance our learning experience. I say that with sincerity, though it is something I heard day after day in ISO. Though there were sessions that I didn't find useful personally (i.e. US etiquette), what I enjoyed was trying to see North American culture through the eyes of my foreign-raised classmates.

Technology Orientation was the other orientation of the week. This one definitely frustrated me as some miscommunication ended up costing me an extra $100 in setup fees. I also had a lot of my settings changed, programs uninstalled, and files moved. However, I have now located all the missing files, reinstalled the programs I need and am really appreciating the whole Microsoft Exchange setup that we have going at Darden. I must admit that I got addicted to Meeting Requests while in the workplace, and now I can send meeting requests to my professors, career consultant and classmates. There are some great tools, and the technology process at Darden certainly evidences a strong commitment to excellence.

And finally, adjustments. There have been a few:

• "For here" vs "To stay": every time I eat fast food in an American restaurant, I want to reply "to stay" to the question "for here or to go?"
• Heat and humidity: my wardrobe has been completely altered. I now wear skirts and camis or sundresses. However, since most buildings are air-conditioned, a cardigan or sweater is necessary to bring along.
• Busy social schedule: There is something happening EVERY night. Tonight I decided to ignore the party and stayed at home watching a movie with my roommate.
• Stores: There are a lot of new stores in the US that are really fun. I've always heard that shopping was better in the US, and today I experienced it firsthand. We went to Williamsburg, where there is a large outlet mall, and stocked up on almost all the clothes necessary to last through Christmas. I even bought a great new suit, which I will get a lot of mileage out of over the next few months.

Feeling More Settled

It was just over three weeks ago that I finished work. In that time, I have travelled countless miles to and from home, changed where "home" actually is (in the where-I-lay-my-head-at-night sense) and met a million people.

Since arriving in Charlottesville on Wednesday, life was non-stop. I met new people every day, saw as many tourist sites as I could find time for, and tried to collect the things I needed for my apartment. Since my sisters were visiting, my room was a mess, and I had hoped that after I dropped them off at the airport in Washington DC, that I would have a nice quiet evening to unpack. Of course, that did not happen... Instead, I got to meet more people and ended up staying out at a party until 2 a.m.

Today was perfect. Though I meant to go check out a church in C'ville, instead I let myself sleep in and feel rested. I spent the day lazily unpacking my last bags and organizing the stuff on my desk. And now that is mostly done. The kingpin on the day was getting the Wii set up so I can now use my Wii Fit.

And instead of meeting 20 more people and having short conversations with them in a very loud room, I went over to a friend's house and had my first home-cooked meal in a few days! (The chili and corn muffins were delicious...) I felt like I actually had a chance to connect with someone rather than cramming down 20 new names.

Tomorrow vacation is over. At 9 a.m., I must report to Classroom 50 for International Student Orientation. Though we finish at 3 and I can hardly complain about the workload yet, there are still a dozen other things I want to do before life gets too busy. Oh well... priorities, right?

On a side note, Charlottesville is very hot and humid. Part of what made today so great is that I barely ventured outside. I think I would die without AC. ;-)

Camp Darden: Take One (For Me, Anyway!)

Tonight I had my first exposure to what, last year, was affectionately called "Camp Darden." A growing group of about 16 of us met at the Downtown Mall and migrated down the road for dinner.

It was great to have a chance to connect with some future classmates! One of the highlights was being able to put "voices" to the people I've been talking with over the last few months. (I say "voices" because thanks to Facebook, I already had faces for names...) I had fun visiting with people and got mocked by one American for my apparent accent, though I still don't think it sounds like "hoose" when I say "house."

My roommate moved all her stuff into the house today and we are now living in a state of disorder which will hopefully soon be remedied. I guess we have a week until actual orientation starts to get everything together. My sisters and I are spending tomorrow in DC and then they fly home. It's been great sharing my new life with them.

Is There Anything Jefferson DIDN'T Do?

One of the greatest advantages of having my sisters drive down with me to Charlottesville has been that I've gotten to be a tourist. Today we did some of the main C'ville attractions: Monticello and the Downtown/Pedestrian Mall, if that's what you call it. It's been nice to go through these things for the first time and getting to experience them before they become familiar.

It seems like I am slowly getting settled here. I unpacked a bunch of boxes today and, more importantly, I got a phone. A shiny new iPhone, which is my first foray into the smartphone world. I think it will be great, but still have to take the time to play with it and figure out how to sync everything. I am still using the Internet connection at the pool, but our Internet was turned on today... They are just asking for a username/password and I haven't been able to figure out exactly what they want. So I am waiting for my roommate to arrive tomorrow, and hopefully she's got the information we need.

Adjusting to life in a new city and climate is fun and tiring all at the same time. I am definitely used to the relatively cold dryness of the Canadian prairies, and the humidity here is both a blessing and a curse. My skin is appreciating it, but if feels a lot hotter than what I am used to. There are new bugs and animals. All in all, though, Virginia is absolutely gorgeous. On my first two visits to C'ville, I will admit that I was less than impressed. It was definitely the quality of everything about Darden that swayed my decision to attend. Now that I've had a chance to get acquainted with Charlottesville, it is growing on me. The landscape around here is breathtaking and I love the trees! In addition to that, the Downtown Mall (I think that's what it's called?) is the perfect place to shop and eat dinner. Our waitress also spotted Dave Matthews, and my sister rushed to snap a picture...

Anyway, there are a lot of thoughts swarming. For now, I am glad that my sisters have gone off to see Harry Potter, giving me a chance to debrief a little. I may also go tackle the Internet dilemma in my apartment and figure out how to put Twitter and Facebook apps on my iPhone...

Home Sweet Home

After five days of travelling, my sisters and I have arrived in C'ville. As I am about 10 minutes away from getting kicked out of the pool area where I am using the free Internet, I'll make this short and promise to write more thoughts in the next few days.

It's very surreal getting used to a new home! I've been here only 5 hours and have already gone grocery shopping and gotten a few things I need for my home. I still don't have a phone, which is driving me crazy, but hopefully that will be on the agenda for tomorrow.

One thing that is quite exciting is that there are raccoons here. We don't have those in Edmonton. Anyway, lots more thoughts and stories from the drive. Looking forward to meeting everyone from the blogosphere in the next few weeks!

South of the 49th Parallel

Delayed.

That's the word of the day.

There were no big adventures, but I think it took us almost 2 hours to get across the border between waiting in line and then waiting to get "processed." The really nice thing, though, was that they did NOT ask to open the trunk, despite opening most of the trunks in the line before ours.

And then, once across the border, it seemed that the road was under construction about half the time. Fortunately, it was a relatively short driving day. Once we got into Sioux City (about an hour and a half later than planned!), my friends had barbecued corn (awesome since we'd been looking at corn all afternoon!) and veggies and burgers AND salmon. We've spent the evening having a great visit and looking at pictures from their wedding last week.

Tomorrow, I meet my roommate for the first time when we stay with her in Louisville and then Wednesday is the big day of arriving in Charlottesville!

Drive to Winnipeg

This was the plan for yesterday:

8 a.m. - Leave Edmonton
~ 1 p.m. - Arrive in Saskatoon for a quick visit with my sister's best friend
11 p.m. - Arrive in Winnipeg

Here's what actually happened:

8 a.m. - My dad cooked pancakes for us for breakfast
8:41 a.m. - Pull out of the driveway
8:44 a.m. - I ask my sisters "Everyone has their passports, right?" My youngest sister replies, "oops." We turn around.
8:51 a.m. - Back on the road
10 a.m. - I text my cousin in Lloydminster to see if she's around. She texts back asking if we have time for a quick (half-hour!) visit. We agree to meet her at Tim Hortons.
11:01 a.m. - Pull into Tim Hortons at Lloyd.
11:51 a.m. - Back on the road
2:21 p.m. - Arrive in Saskatoon, meet up with Becky's friends for lunch
3:43 p.m. - Leave Saskatoon.
8:23 p.m. - Time change. It is now 9:23 p.m.
10:01 p.m. - Arrive in Brandon for a very late, very quick (as in pick-up-and-eat-in-car) supper and gas. The good news is that we finally found premium fuel!
12:51 a.m. - Arrive in Winnipeg.

So we got in a little later than planned. I find it ironic that on our longest driving day, we had the most people to stop and visit with, but I don't regret the visits! Today we spend time hanging out with family (Mom's family for lunch as soon as we are all ready to go, then Dad's family for dinner!), then tomorrow the dreaded border crossing and on to Sioux City, Iowa.

On a completely separate note, I am finding that I am very, very relaxed now. Two weeks of no work can do that to you, I suppose! Now everything is packed and in place, and there's nothing to do but act out the plan. I also have no clue what is happening in the business world. Microsoft could have bought Apple (or vice versa) and I would have no idea. I'm looking forward to getting back into the swing of things, but can probably put that off until I get to Charlottesville on Wednesday.

And With That, a Chapter is Closed

Tonight, a whole bunch of my friends gathered at my parents' house to wish me a happy birthday and say goodbye (or, rather, "see you at Christmas!"). It is such a blessing to leave a place when you know you will be missed. Some goodbyes are harder than others, but with the webcam my parents gave me, hopefully the face-to-face chats will be much easier. One of my best friends got teary, but her boyfriend promised to hook her up with me on Skype so we can still talk.

This blog post has been a long time coming. My journey to the MBA program started about two years ago when I started considering all the options. It was almost six months ago, to the day, that I got that phone call from the Darden admissions office. The past six months have been filled with anxiety and excitement, and now my Acura is packed and I am pretty much ready to go. It was definitely an interesting day as I realized I couldn't take everything with me, but my dad's resourcefulness with some garbage bags and a vacuum saved the day and I got everything that I didn't want to have to replace into the trunk. My sisters and I will definitely be squished on the drive down, but that's life! If you're the praying kind, please pray that the border guard will not want to open the trunk on Monday since I really doubt I will be able to get it all back in if asked to unpack.

This will be my last blog posting from Edmonton. Tomorrow at 8 a.m., my sisters and I will squish into my car with our overnight bags and drive to Winnipeg. From there, we drive to Sioux City, Iowa, then to Louisville, Kentucky and finally arrive in Charlottesville, Virginia on Wednesday.

What I'll Miss About Canada

For the last three days, I've disappeared to the Canadian Rockies, and while I know that Shenandoah National Park is only a 45-minutes drive from my new place, I just don't think it will compare.

Ahhhhhh...

After an emotional breakdown yesterday in the registries office, I'm definitely ready for the mini-getaway that I have planned for the next few days. Yes, I'm probably the first person to have an emotional breakdown at AMA, but the combination of not enough sleep, feeling the pressure of more things to do than time to do them in and just one thing after another not working out for my registration (all of them out of my control!), when I found out that the expiry date on the insurance pink card I had just picked up said July 17, 2009, it was just too much.

Of course, everything has since worked out, thanks to some helpful insurance people, a good nursing friend who could sign my vaccination records rather than me going in for yet another appointment, and the friendliest, most sympathetic AMA registry girl. When I woke up this morning, the only thing left on my to-do list was pack.

So, I am off to get a stereo installed in my "new" car (yes, I sold my Civic and took my parents' Acura which will be bigger and better for the drive down to C'ville), get my hair cut, and then pick up one of my best friends for 2 days in the mountains with no phone and no Internet! When I get back, I've got one day to pack everything into the Acura and get all the food for my big birthday/going away party. But I'm not thinking about that right now...

Homeward Bound

As the plane begins it's descent, I revert to my childhood rituals. Fortunate that no one was in a position to watch me, I blink furiously in an effort to stay awake and keep my contacts in place and simultaneously swallow with my mouth open to relieve the pressure in my ears. I chew hard on a piece of gum as the plane rapidly drops. Despite the nuisance of the pressure change, I am happy to be nearly home after 9 hours of travelling.

Home.

The word rolls around strangely in my mind as I contemplate my upcoming address change. Yes, Edmonton is home for another week. After that, home becomes an undefined entity, as the place where I regularly lay my head and the place where my family resides become separate. What is home?

These were the thoughts yesterday as I prepared to land in Edmonton. There is a hidden track by the band Downhere that I love with the lyrics "remind us that we have not reached home." This reminder comes back to me every time I prepare for a move. I apologize, again, to those of different faiths, but the reminder of heaven is so powerfully poignant to me right now. As blessed as I am, the earth is such a tragic place. Though I have so many opportunities, I feel confronted every day with the need for something different, something better. I long for the ultimate Home.

Monkey Wrenches

One thing that I am starting to learn is that blips in the plan are God's way of reminding me to depend on Him.

After attempting to sell my car and pretty much giving up, I had three people express interest in it today. I am leaving in a week... so within a week, I will need to change the tires on my "new" car, get a stereo installed AND change over the insurance and registration. Oh yeah, and did I mention I will be gone to the mountains for two and a half days?

The nice part of this plan, though, is that my sisters, who do not drive standard/manual transmission, will not have to worry about getting stuck in some traffic jam on the highway. More importantly, I'll be able to bring more stuff along.

The last week has been filled with preoccupation with someone else's stress and I've been helping to tie ribbons around bottles and scrolls, decorate reception rooms and remind my friend, the bride, not to stress. But as I'm sitting in the Omaha airport, getting ready to head back to Edmonton and some semblance of "real life," the details are pressing in again. Unanswered emails in my inbox will need replies, cars will need to be sold, and trunks will need to be packed.

But the subject of this blog posting is "monkey wrenches," so I would be better served to talk about the other big monkey wrench this week, though it was quickly resolved. After checking off the big item of "visa" from my list a few months ago, I got an email from the international students office asking for a document ASAP. (To make a long story short, I changed my funding, emailed to see if I needed to send them anything a MONTH ago, didn't get a reply [or follow-up] and then this week, they requested a document.) Since I'm a relatively meticulous planner, this threw me off, and suddenly I had visions of not being able to leave Edmonton on time and having all my schools plans go down the drain. (My imagination is apparently overactive.)

Thanks to my mom, and my careful filing of important documents, it was all taken care of and a new I-20 is on the way, or maybe even already arrived.

Another Moving Headache

For the past week, I have been in Iowa getting ready for a friend's wedding. Being focused on that all week helped me to keep my mind off of the stress in my life, but last night, it hit that I am moving in just a week, and I had a total freakout.

Anyway, this morning, we all went to get our hair done for the wedding. Since the Wireless Company that I want to get my mobile device through was located in the same strip mall as the salon AND there was lots of time left waiting for other bridesmaids to get their hair done, I apologized to the bride (or got her blessing, however you want to look at it) and walked down the mall to see if I could maybe, just maybe, get a phone now so I have one on the drive down.

Here's some background: I called Wireless Company and explained my situation. What I was told was that a) I wouldn't be able to get a Virginia number in Iowa (but, since I'm relentless, I tried anyway) and b) they would have to charge me a deposit, but could put in a dummy code for my social security number since I don't have one.

So, I went down and said what I had heard on the phone, but was told a) they could totally get me a Virginia number and b) the system wouldn't let them enter a dummy SSN.

Anyway, I don't have a phone, and am torn between just giving my Canadian SIN to Wireless Company in Charlottesville or trying all over again. Because the problem today was not my location, but my lack of SSN. So frustrating!

In other news, the wedding was beautiful.

In the Calm, Cool, Quiet of the Morning

The house is quiet. Though soon to be bustling with the other 7 people currently sleeping here and numerous others, for a short time I get to enjoy hearing nothing but the fan on the ceiling and the clock ticking above me on the wall.

Mornings are a special time. I don't consider myself a morning person because I'm not a smiley, cheerful person when forced to interact with others shortly after waking up. But when I get my space, mornings are a time to savour and reflect. Living in a busy place, mornings are an introvert's dream. When I worked summer camp, I would get up in the mornings to run or pray. Since most people (me included!) hate getting up early, mornings are a special space where everyone else is off in their dream world and I get the waking world to myself.

It's funny to me that if I can get less sleep but have some space in the morning, I will be less grouchy than if I have the opportunity to sleep in and be greeted with someone talking to me right when I wake up. Despite getting very little sleep last night, I feel much more rejuvenated than I have all week.

A door just opened upstairs. Soon someone will be down and the morning will no longer be my own.

Weddings

Weddings are supposed to be a joy-filled celebration of the joining of two lives together. Instead, they've turned into an excuse for mother-in-laws to show the bride exactly who is the woman in the groom's life, family to air their dirty laundry and use attendance or non-attendance for power grabs, and friends to be hurt over not being chosen to play a special role in the celebration. Of course the drama goes on and on...

I have nothing against marriage. I am very much in favour of two people committing their lives together. But as I've sat in wedding after wedding over the past decade, I wonder why we pour so much money into one day and watch as the divorce rate creeps steadily upward. As I sat and had a heart-to-heart with my friend who is getting married on Friday (Disclaimer: None of the things I listed in the first paragraph apply to her wedding; they are just general trends that I've seen over the years.), she said "if you ever get married, just elope." This was nothing earth-shattering to me. In fact, I decided that would be the plan long ago: find a beach somewhere and make the vows there.

There is so much expense and stress that goes into a wedding. Even with the amount of money that I've put into this wedding, I could have probably just bought a ticket for a week at a resort in Mexico (though I wouldn't have my cute bridesmaid dress, which is actually cute and can and will be worn again). And if that's the case, I can't imagine how much infinitely more it is true for the bride and groom, who have very graciously been hosting us since we got here. On top of having to pay for wedding dresses, tux rentals, hall rentals, catering, flowers, hair appointments, decorations and on and on, they've been feeding us, driving two hours to pick us up from the airport and giving up their own personal space to have us around.

Anyway, a bridesmaid's job is to be supportive of the bride. This bride, being a teacher, is already very organized and has little left for us to do this week. But even she wonders why it is necessary to tie ribbons around all the little tiny bottles of bubbles...

Sitting in an Airport, Waiting

It's always funny how different events and spaces come to take on different meanings as we grow older. Right now, I am sitting in the airport, and as I have spent significantly more time in airports over the past year than ever before, they are starting to take on different meaning for me. When I was younger, we drove for almost all our family vacations. In fact, I can distinctly remember two flights that we took, though I know there were more. Both of those flights were to fun places - LA (the Spring Break we went to Disneyland!) and Phoenix (which typically seems like seniors paradise, but with my Oma's pool and all the fun mini-golf courses, this was always a fun place to visit). Going to the airport as a child was an adventure, and it meant vacation was on the way.

Over the past year, my flights have pretty much all been related to the preparation for my MBA. It was exactly a year ago that I was in Toronto, visiting the Ivey campus at the University of Western Ontario. Though that trip involved some sightseeing as well, there were also class visits, networking and a coffee visit with an old friend who works at the company I want to work for one day. My most recent flight was down to Washington and followed by a two-hour drive to Charlottesville, where I had the interview which has pretty much determined the course of the rest of my life.

Though this current trip is purely personal (wedding in Iowa), as I sit here on my laptop, I am reflecting on the reality that when I start strategy consulting, regular time in airports will become the norm. And airports will officially make the transition from holding the anticipation of a fun vacation to my new life out of a suitcase.

Even though business travel is different, there's still something exciting about flying somewhere. On this trip, I fly through Denver, and am excited as I have never been in the Denver airport before. Seeing new places and experiencing small nuances of culture is something that will never grow old for me. I remember being down in C'ville for my interview and talking to the hotel clerk with her thick, Southern accent. There's something fresh about being in a place where people talk differently, and different chain restaurants adorn the road.

For now, though, I am excited about a week of focusing on relieving someone else's stress rather than thinking of the steadily approaching "final" departure date from Edmonton. I also view this week as a miniature immersion into American culture. My friend is marrying an American, so obviously his family and all his friends will be American. Hopefully this week, I will see what exactly are these key differences between Canadians and Americans that all the Canadians talk about, but my new German friend says don't really exist.

Triumph: No Tears

If I stopped to think about it, this past week would have been quite emotional. Instead, I planned a big goodbye/birthday party in a few weeks to stave off all the sad goodbyes and got to enjoy these last few evenings hanging out with friends. I very nearly got choked up at work when one of my co-workers (lovingly) said, "I still hate you for leaving," then gave me a big hug. I think one of the huge privileges of my (now old) job was that I got to work in so many areas, and I was given licence to really change things. A lot of times, when you are working in the day-to-day toil of a job, you don't take the time to step back and look at the big picture of what you have accomplished. But reading the messages in the goodbye cards was really encouraging. If only there was a way that I could just slip that in with my resume come internship-hunting time...

Of course, I got another kind of goodbye card. This one was filled with woman jokes, but all in good fun, of course. My favourite part was that on the front it said "To Julie, From Anonomys." After that, there were a few references to the subpar intelligence of females. ;-) (And if you do happen to read this, you-know-who-you-are, I do not think YOUR intelligence is subpar, just that your grammar is.)

The day ended with two very positive notes. One is that I got to say a "hello" for the first time all week and hang out with my friend who just got back from travelling in Europe for over three months. The second is that I got to chat with my sister who was gone all week doing soccer camps.

Another Patio and a Fond Farewell

The weather in Edmonton has been cooperating lately, so I spent a lovely evening with a friend on the Chili's rooftop patio on Whyte Ave, finally giving in to the craving for an Appletini. See, in Canada, as I mentioned earlier, we have approximately 5 days of summer, so when they hit, you need to make sure to make the most of them. Although it threatened to rain (actually, it did spit a little), we took the chance and had a great visit on the patio.

Though I am walking the line between denial and celebration about finishing work, it all feels very surreal. Today at lunch, my co-workers and I all gathered in our typical goodbye section in Earl's. We've been there for many a goodbye, and somehow it didn't feel as though it was my own. Though I've spent the last few days passing on as much knowledge as possible: training sessions, clearing out my files, and cleaning off my desk, it makes me sad to think that I'm losing the community I've had with my co-workers over these past years. It's rare to find a place (or maybe not...) where everyone gets along on the same level. And we've had so much fun joking around while accomplishing great things (or not so great), that I'm going to miss that environment. Of course, all signs suggest that Darden may be the same way, so perhaps I'll have a new set of people to be sad about leaving in two years. (Actually, this is quite likely.)

Anyway, I hope I don't cry tomorrow. It's going to be sad turning in my key and walking out of the office one last time. I've been counting down the days for a long time, but part of beginning a new adventure means leaving an old one.

A Thank You, Feeding the Homeless and Can I Stay in my 20s Forever?

Tonight was a great evening.

First off, I want to thank the nice young lady who gave me a loonie to plug the parking meter. She was walking down the street with big, huge headphones on, and actually stopped and pulled them off when I said, "excuse me." When I asked if she had change for a ten, she just gave me a loonie so I could get enough time to head into the City Centre mall to meet my friend for half an hour. So, thank you. And I promise I will pay it forward.

Once in the mall, I ran to meet up with a friend to finish up some power shopping before we had to meet some other people a little further away from downtown. Now, for some time, I've been looking to replace my basic brown pumps (which got nasty salty snow dripped all over them thanks to the lazy guy who couldn't be bothered to shovel the walk) and my black pumps (the lifts were gone, and while I could replace them, they never really fit anyway). On a whim, I popped into Nine West, and guess what? Black and brown pumps... on sale... 70% off.

See, I hate buying cheap shoes. But I'm too poor (hello MBA tuition bill) to shell out money for good shoes. The compromise is that I've learned where to buy the good shoes for insane-percent-off. So, without a stressful shopping trip spent searching for shoes, I found both in five minutes.

Fast forward to sitting on the patio at Famoso with some more friends. Eating Neapolitan-style pizza and sipping Pinot Grigio, which is the only type of wine that I absolutely love. Since it's downtown, there are always characters around. As we are eating, this homeless man comes over, opens the plastic pane separating us from him and starts to ask if we've seen his car keys around. Apparently this man is a regular, since our server comes over and says "okay, Wayne, it's time to go." Our server started to close the plastic pane, and Wayne pushed back, and we all felt a little awkward, wondering whether we were supposed to watch or just resume our conversation.

Wayne goes away, but is back a few minutes later. In between, two girls had sat down at the table beside us. When our server came to ask Wayne to leave, the girl at the other table asked if she could give him some of her food. The server said no, since he was disturbing the guests, and the girl sarcastically replied, "yeah, we wouldn't want to feed the hungry." (She wouldn't let up... The server said, "he's reached in and taken food off plates before," and she retorted "you take people's plates off the table." While I appreciated her sentiments, I did want to kick her in the teeth.)

The first thought that immediately came to mind was the comparison between not feeding wild animals in parks. And when that thought hit, I was immediately confronted with the gap between rich and poor in our society. I don't tend to think of myself as rich, but being on the inside of that very physical barrier, treating Wayne almost as an animal, hit like a ton of bricks. I am so blessed with what I have. I would love to say that I went after dinner, gave him some food and got him off the street, but in reality I felt more comfortable after he left. It's all too easy to contribute to charitable organizations on a regular basis and then do our best to ignore people in need. And, again, I wish I could say something more noble, but I do wonder how best to contribute to social justice in society.

And, now that this is getting long, I just want to close with one thought: Can I just stay in my 20s forever? I love evenings on the patio, talking to friends who are between undergrad and graduate degrees, and sharing stories of new jobs and vacations. It was the last visit that we'll have for quite some time, as I am off to Virginia in a few weeks for my MBA, and another friend is heading back to law school.

And Another Thing I'll Miss About Work

Today, our regular Tuesday server at Boston Pizza gave me a hug goodbye. Every Tuesday for the last 6 to 8 months, we have gone to Boston Pizza for lunch. All the staff know us, and we always have the same server. If she's serving in the lounge, we sit in the lounge. If she's serving in the restaurant, only to sections of 6-person booths, and we have 7 people, we stick a chair at the end of the booth and sit in her section. As soon as we've sat down, she's there with our drink orders, and she pretty much knows what we are going to order for food and what to recommend. We all get along well with her and have fun every week.

In addition to our server, one of the managers always comes over to say hi and talk for a bit. We joke around a lot. Our IT guy used to order pizza bread every Tuesday, and one week, after a few of us had already ordered pizza for lunch, the manager told our IT guy that they were out of pizza bread. The IT guy totally believed it, there were good laughs all around, and the next week the manager brought us free pizza bread.

So, as silly as it sounds, I'm really going to miss Pasta Tuesday at Boston Pizza, even though I never ordered pasta. It was fun being a "regular." Maybe I will just have to find a new place to be a regular next year.

What I'll Miss About Work

Today one of my co-workers sent around this link to a few of us. To understand why it is funny, check out step 30, for starters. After a few reply-alls, another co-worker distributed a cartoon that mocked Google maps.

This banter I will miss. Especially because we have a culture that openly mocks people who aren't funny, but attempt to be, so the comments in the reply-alls are generally actually worth reading.

Although you can't call them all meetings, I had several discussions today with co-workers that drifted between personal and business. While some people may view this as counter-productive, I actually think that we accomplish more and experience more collaboration when everything isn't specifically work-related. I love that working together in this way is encouraged at my job.

My co-workers are fun. Though we definitely view the world in different ways, we get along well and there are a few co-workers that I consider genuinely good friends. Seeing people every day opens the doors to talk about things that go beyond work, and I'm going to miss talking to them every day.

When my mom came in a few weeks ago to help me with some computer-related stuff, she was amazed at how much access I had to our database. It takes a long time to build up trust within an organization, but having that trust has meant that it's five times easier to do my job, since I don't have to go ask for permission every time I need access to a network or specific information.

There are many more things I will miss, but so many of them seem like inside jokes. With only four days left, I will definitely make sure to appreciate all of these things over the rest of the week!

Of course, all that said, I was very happy to finish my last "Monday" today. I can't remember the last time I had three weeks off in a row, and the first two weeks back at school, spent in orientations of various kinds, will be a good transition into a semester of insanity.

One Week to Go

It's 5:01 and I am sitting at my computer at work, about to leave, but realizing that in just one week I will be finished here at the Company. There are so many things and people that I will miss, but I'll blog about that later. No need to delay the weekend any further!

Farewell Lunch Announcement

One of my co-workers posted this on the company intranet, and I thought it was funny.

Best of Luck, Julie

After two faithful years at [the Company], Julie is heading to Darden School of Business in Virginia to pursue her MBA. We will appreciate all her hard work and accomplishments during her time here and wish her the best.

Come join us at Earls, on [Date and Time]

Sign-up is at the front desk.

Then come join us at Earl's 2 years from now when she comes back as our boss and tells us what to do.

Sleepless in South Edmonton

Once again, I find myself completely exhausted and wide awake.

As someone who generally aims for 7 or 8 hours of sleep per night, being up at 12:50 a.m. and knowing that my alarm will go off at 6:30 tomorrow morning is pretty much torture.

Ever since I moved back into my parents' house, I've been having trouble sleeping. I don't know what the connection is. So far, I've only been able to come up with three variables that have changed since I moved home.

1. I've exchanged traffic noise for the constant croaking of frogs. (Save tonight when it is the steady pitter-patter of rain pelting down on my open window instead.)
2. The curtains in my old room completely blacked out light, but the curtains in "my" new room only partially black it out.
3. I used to have a TV in my bedroom and generally watched for at least a few minutes before falling asleep.

I'm not sure which of those three variables is contributing to the fact that my eyes suddenly pop open when my head hits the pillow, but as I only have seven 6:30 alarms left, I suppose I don't really need to worry.

If anyone out there is some sort of sleep expert, please give me some tips. I finally stopped fighting the restlessness and have done such things as write in my blog and, more importantly, work on reading The Goal (which, if you've been following along, was supposed to be done by the end of June, but which I did not actually pick up from Chapters until Monday. I hope all the books I have to read for business school are structured like stories.).

Until I figure out how to sleep, I am off to read other blogs. I noticed three new updates in my blogosphere when I logged on to write this...

Mundane Night

Here's a tip for all my fellow blogging friends: don't assume that people don't read your blog.

Tonight I was sitting in O'Byrne's, an Irish pub on Whyte Ave. (which is kind of the hip, trendy neighbourhood that every city has, but I can't compare it to anything besides Calgary's Kensington) My friend leans over and says:

"You didn't tell me at supper yesterday that you got your loans in place! And why did you call the evening mundane?"

So I explained to her that it wasn't the evening that was mundane, more that I didn't think the people in India who read my blog would be particularly fascinated by the fact that I spent an hour in MAC yesterday doing my bridesmaid duties in memorizing the instructions for my bride-to-be friend.

A few years ago, I took a creative non-fiction writing class, and the big challenge in writing non-fiction is extrapolating from your own life experiences and writing something that is of value to someone else. I do try to keep that in mind when I am blogging, since there is no point in writing something for others to read if I am not adding any value for the time they spend reading. When I write about Darden details, it's because I know there may be people a year from now who find themselves in the same position as me and looking for some support. (I'll confess, I went back and read the archives of the Darden student bloggers when I was first accepted, hoping to scrounge up any useful information! And to get excited about what was coming...)

So when I write "this is what I did this evening..." I do apologize because I haven't figured out what value it adds. But, this evening I was reflecting on the beauty of friendship and communication. My bride friend is in town from China, on her way to her new home in Iowa. We've pretty much talked daily on MSN over the three years she's been gone, thanks to a time difference that has her on lunch break right before my bedtime. And as awesome as it is to actually be sitting and talking face-to-face, it doesn't feel weird or abnormal. I love friendships like that. You can live on almost the opposite side of the world, but pick up right where you've left off when you do see each other. That is really encouraging to me, as the reality of the rest of my life is that there will be people I love who live far away.

And if my other good friend or sister who are in Europe happen to read this, I'm looking forward to talking to you face-to-face as well in just a few short weeks!

All Smiles Today

One of the last of my biggest stressors finally came into place today... I was approved for my loan! Yes, I know, this detail should have been ironed out back in May, but I've been investigating multiple options and finally took the plunge. Anyway, prior to today, there was always a small fear in the back of my mind that everything wouldn't work out and I would end up jobless and homeless at the end of July. But it's all come together and now it really feels like a reality. If only I could sell my car, I would be able to just kick back and relax for the next month... (I probably will anyway, to be honest.)

And then I got home and there was a nice, big, friendly package from Darden waiting on the mail counter. It was filled with all sorts of welcome letters from faculty, students and support staff. It reminded me of the summer before Grade 7, when I pored over all the information from my junior high school. I will admit there are a few readings that look more like work than welcome letters, but I guess I can suck it up and read them while in a plane or car sometime over the next few weeks.

It will probably take some time, but I'm starting to realize that I'm headed off to a world-class institution. In Canada, there may be a few schools that stand out, but in general our public universities are all at the same level. (And a pretty good one, at that!) But in the US, it seems that a few really rise to the top. And I'm just excited, as I've mentioned dozens of times already, about being a part of Darden and the University of Virginia.

In other mundane news, I am flying to Iowa to be a bridesmaid for one of my best friends in about two weeks. She was living in China for a few years and will be moving to Iowa where her fiance is, BUT she is in Edmonton this week. After being pretty much off the hook for bridesmaid responsibilities all year (save trying on dresses and sending the pics to China and sending a fabric swatch to the florist), it was super fun to go shopping this evening and spend time at MAC getting ideas for eye makeup and all that stuff. As many of my friends in Edmonton are already married and starting families (which, don't get me wrong, is a really exciting stage in life), I am really looking forward (and hoping!) to develop some more friendships with other single girls at Darden next year. The agenda for the rest of the week includes drinks on a patio tomorrow (yes, it's a summer theme here. The summer lasts for precisely nine days or so, and I aim to spend some time on each of those days on a patio. Before you go look up Edmonton weather on Wikipedia to prove me wrong, I'll just let you know that the nine days of summer in Edmonton aren't actually consecutive.), bridesmaid dress fitting, and who knows what else?

And finally, if you are still reading, I officially gave my two week notice today. Since I have discovered since my last post about work that some of my co-workers DO read my blog, I just wanted to say that yes, I will miss you! And the Company and all the challenges that I have conquered... or starting conquering... or failed miserably at and learned good lesssons from...

Making Progress

This afternoon, I took a look at my to-do list and realized it isn't feeling so daunting anymore. While there always seems to be a need to spend more time with the people you love, I am happy that I have at least been able to schedule in my good friends and family over the next month. And I finally invited everyone to my big farewell/birthday bash the day before I leave. (Well, you know how it goes, you try and make sure to invite everyone, but you always seem to miss you, so if I missed you, it's July 31 at my parents' place, but please let me know you're coming.)

July is going to be a fun month! Only two weeks left of work, then off to Iowa for a friend's wedding, then my sister is home from Germany for my last week in Edmonton! (And I'm taking off to the mountains for a few days to catch up with one of my other best friends.)

Of course, I'm still trying to sell my car. Please buy it, if you live in Edmonton. I'll give you a good deal, and it's amazing on gas and runs super well.

Surrender Isn't Easy...

(Just so you know, today's blog is very much faith-focussed.)

It's funny how music can affect us on such a strong level. Last Sunday at church, during the worship time, I had some powerful epiphanies about learning to surrender, and though I intended to reflect and blog about them, they slipped past my mind by the time I was driving out of the parking lot. Today, though, I found myself singing in the shower and found I was belting out the words from a song committing to surrender.

There's nothing more I need than to give you all of me.
There's nothing more I seek than to lay my all at your feet.
Everything I hold dear, I would trade it all for you.
My Lord, my life, I give it all to You.

My everything, my everything.
There's nothing I won't bring to you my King,
I give it all to You.

(Note: This song was written by someone in the worship band at my church, and if you want to hear it, try this site.)

To be honest, I can't say that I fully embrace the words of that song. My journey of surrender goes much more like a micro-manager handing out assignments. "Hmmm, let's see here, God, you can have this area of my life and that area of my life, but this one... no, I don't quite trust you to handle it."

I struggle with what surrender is supposed to look like for the 21st century North American Christian. I've heard stories from around the world about people who have been persecuted for their faith. People have given up their lives, watched their families tortured, been imprisoned, lost businesses... All for taking that step of commitment and surrender for their faith. Me? Well, here in North America, I may get snickered at when I say I'm trusting God for something, but that's about it. Or perhaps you may have been reading my blog all along thinking I've got a good head on my shoulders (actually, no, not my blog), and now you read about me talking about learning to surrender to a God that you don't believe exists and you may think I'm crazy, but that really doesn't have the same impact on me as if you were to murder my family in front of me.

So what DOES surrender mean? It's easy to say that I would give it all up if called to do so, but what does that look like in my everyday life?

One step I am starting with is learning to mentally give over control to God. As I mentioned earlier, there are a lot of areas of my life that I still hold quite tightly. It's definitely a daily struggle, but surrender starts with opening up and letting God's grace wash over those areas. Practically, this looks like being open to new ideas. I am one of those people who really likes to plan and know what is happening. I DO have a five year and ten year plan for my life. But learning to surrender means holding those plans loosely. It means learning to trust that God may open other doors besides management consulting and that maybe those other doors could lead to something better than what I have for myself.

And the second practical part of learning to surrender is learning to take myself out of that "#1 position" and putting others there. Jesus continually called his followers to LOVE. And if I am going to live a life of surrender, I need to learn to love, day in and day out. Fortunately, the Apostle Paul provided a manual on how to love. You've probably heard it quoted a few times at weddings... Love is patient... kind... not envious... not boastful... not rude... not self-seeking... not easily angered... (1 Corinthians 13) I can't say I have any of those mastered yet.

Why surrender? Ultimately I believe God has an amazing plan for my life. And when I fight his leading, it only creates anxiety and uncertainty for me. More importantly, the crux of my faith is that Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice for me. So how can I possibly fathom holding back?

Surrender isn't easy. But the easy thing is never worthwhile anyway.

Manic

These days it seems like my mood is totally manic. In one minute, I start freaking out about the upcoming move. I've been excited about it for a long time, and I'm still excited and it's definitely time to move, but... For a long time I ignored the downsides of moving... leaving everyone I know 2,300 miles and two time-zones away. And as I'm at a point where I really only have two weeks left in Edmonton (plus a few scattered days after that), the goodbyes are starting to become a reality.

And there are still some details to be worked out. (Seriously, BUY MY CAR!) So I get really stressed about working out the remaining details and the sheer amount of STUFF that has to be done. (Well, mostly just sorting and packing... and buying new clothes. I've gotten away with a wardrobe consisting mostly of office attire for the past two years and have virtually no casual clothes. And the casual clothes that I did have no longer fit thanks to the running and healthy eating and all that jazz...)

But then I remind myself to just relax and calm down. My mom told me that I probably wouldn't get everything done or see everyone, but that it would be okay.

So these days, I swing from stressing out to finding peace back to worrying about going to a new place (which I haven't really done for 18 years, oops!) to reminding myself that everything will be fine. For so long I was just ready to up and leave this Edmonton life behind that I chose to forget about the fact that I'm pretty much leaving for good. And there are people here that I really love and will miss.

It's raining tonight, though, and that always gives me peace, even though it seems to be foiling my plans for salad and cocktails on the patio tomorrow at lunch.

Hehe, well, next year will be a real treat once I get into actually stressful situations. I think I handle those better, though!

Stood Up

What is it with my generation and the inability to follow through on commitments?

Seriously. I'm selling my car. I get an email this morning that says, "I am in town until 6 and am interested in your car. Please call me at..." So I call. I figure since he is leaving town at 6, that by the time I get home from work at 5:30, there won't be enough time, so I tell him to just meet me at work at 5. I write down his cell, he writes down mine, we've got a plan.

So 5 rolls around. I head outside to park my car in a better location. I talk to some co-workers in the parking lot for a few minutes. 5:10 - I call to see if he needs directions and get voicemail. 5:15 - I move my car to an even better spot. 5:20 - I call again, get the voicemail and leave a message saying I am on my way home and he can call for the address if he is still interested. 5:25 - He calls and says he isn't coming. Um, thanks. Glad that I spent 25 minutes moving my car to different places in the parking lot.

When I was subletting the basement suite of the house I was renting a year ago, I got the same type of thing. People would make appointments to stop by and then not show up. It's the most aggravating thing in the world. Seriously, EVERYONE has cell phones these days... I know because I can tell from seeing your number on my call display. So if you're not going to show up, just have the common courtesy to pick up the phone and let whoever is expecting you know, so they aren't waiting around. There seems to be this attitude that other people's time isn't as important as your own.

And while I'm working up a good rant here... WHY do people always show up late when you have a specified time to meet them? If we say "let's meet at 10," why do I have to wait half an hour? Seriously, my friends, you know who you are... some of you I've started intentionally showing up 15 minutes late. And the crazy thing is that I've still had to sit around and wait for you.

Okay, I'm done. Just know that when you deal with me, if you stand me up, that will be the last time. And if you show up late, you go on my list of people that I have to convert time for. (Yes, I actually have a friend and when we make plans, I'll ask "is this 6 my time, or 6 in 'Bob' Standard Time?")

How Does It Happen?

Today Bernard Madoff was sentenced to 150 years in prison.

It really makes me wonder. How does one man end up committing the largest Ponzi scheme in history?

Now, this may be a controversial opinion, but I don't believe that people are naturally good or well-intentioned. (Probably better for a different blog post, but I know that my default mode is more selfish, and I need to overcome that... I'm not naive enough to think I'm the only one who struggles with that!) However, I don't understand how someone can be depraved enough to swindle the kind of money that Bernie Madoff swindled from his investors. After all, a Ponzi scheme is not something you fall into accidentally because you need to cover up a mistake. A Ponzi scheme, where nothing is invested, is sheer fraud, in its entirety.

It's funny how our priorities can become so disjointed. We start to feel the invincibility of getting away with our actions, and we just go further and further down the road, until one day we get caught and suddenly find it's time to face the consequences.

My dad always said that if one of us girls was caught shoplifting, he wouldn't come and post bail right away. He'd let us suffer the legal consequences. Because I never did shoplift, this always made sense to me. Sometimes the best form of grace is getting caught early on. After all, if Madoff had been caught early, he probably would have been out of jail right now and enjoying the last days of his life with his wife. Instead, he gets to be the really bad guy everyone's heard of in jail.

It's easy to look at the Madoff story and think "I would never do that." But I think that these behaviours sneak up on us. There has been a lot of discussion among the MBA community about oaths. I don't know what I think about how effective that is, but I do know that integrity is absolutely the most essential character trait for a businessperson. Allowing cracks in integrity is never a good plan. If it's tempting to lie, cheat or steal to cover up a mistake or make a little extra money, then there is nothing to stop a big lie. My dad tells a joke that illustrates this point...

A man walks into a bar and sits down next to a woman. "Would you sleep with me for $1,000,000?" He asks. "Sure!" She replies. "Would you sleep with me for $50?" He asks. "What kind of woman do you think I am?" "Well, we've already established that. Now we're just negotiating the price."

Character is character. It is only developed after years and years of right decisions, but can be torn down by one wrong one. It's easy to look at what Madoff did and say, "that would never be me." But if we allow decisions into our lives that compromise our character, then we could easily be drawn down that path.

Virtual Coach

The last few blog posts have more routine and newsy than thought-provoking and introspective, but nothing that's been on my mind lately has seemed particularly blog-worthy. Instead I am wrapped up in all of the details that come with saying goodbye and moving and pursuing a slightly different career progression.

There is an organization called MBA JumpStart that offers a program pre-MBA called "Virtual Coach." As it seemed like a great opportunity, I hopped on board, and while sometimes it felt difficult to make time for the assignments, it's been a great learning experience. They've helped me with my resume, given me interview tips, and asked questions about my network and my brand. Just now, I turned in my second last assignment, in which I had to examine a recent business decision made by a company/CEO and discuss whether I think it was the right decision or the wrong decision. (In case you're curious, I dicussed the launch of Microsoft's new search engine, Bing.) The last assignment is to re-do my resume for an updated resume score. As I was quite disappointed with my first score (I had never really seen a consulting resume before...), it will be good to have the opportunity to have it re-evaluated.

In addition to all of the other assignments, I had to pick out 5 companies that I wanted to work for, and Virtual Coach is looking into finding contacts as those companies for me! As someone who is coming from a small, privately-owned company, whose contacts are virtually all also from small, privately-owned companies, this is a huge potential boost for me. After all, finding a job is based so closely on the ability to network.

So, I suppose this is a plug for Virtual Coach. MBA JumpStart also has a conference in the middle of July (and they pay your expenses if you are accepted!), but as I have other commitments, I am unable to go. If you are looking to start your MBA program in 2010, and especially if you are a career changer, I highly recommend the program.

Only Three More Weeks? Really?

Today I got to sleep in a few minutes. I got to sleep in because I didn't need to eat breakfast at home. I didn't need to eat breakfast at home because my Company* had gotten us a catered breakfast. These breakfasts aren't unusual. Just 8 days after I started, I was treated to my first Company breakfast to celebrate 25 years of operations. They gave everyone a little portable DVD player. Everyone included me and the six other people who started the same day I started.

Today's breakfast was special because they were announcing the latest step in an initiative that I was largely responsible for well over a year ago. I can't take full credit, but I organized all the different thoughts and conversations about making the Company a better place to work, put the people together to make things happen, and just this morning, the partners rolled out the latest initiative.

Just three hours after the great announcement, and still full from breakfast, I went down to the back parking lot where the first of the summer BBQ lunches was being served. After downing some fruits, veggies and a hot dog, I tossed around a football with my co-workers and boss. And just two hours after that, I stood in the lunchroom while everyone else ate birthday cake. (As delicious as the chocolate mousse cake looked, I just couldn't bring myself to eat even a sliver.)

After taking a "cake break," I returned to the boardroom where I was meeting with the IT guy about some of the improvements that our ERP system can bring to various processes. As we talked, I realized how little time I have left. The last two years that I've been at the Company, there have been a lot of changes and improvements. At times, I felt like I had to fight tooth and nail to get people on board, but now I can see how the incremental improvements have really added up. It really does make me sad that I won't be around to roll out many of the changes we talked about today, but I really think I will stay in touch with the Company to see how everything turns out.

This post is probably three weeks premature, but after feeling completely SPOILED today, I was feeling sappy and sentimental about the last two years of work. I've learned and grown so much. I'm really going to miss my coworkers. (Side note: Someone asked me at lunch today whether I was going to miss them, and we joked around a lot, but it's true... I really will miss you! Even though none of you read my blog, I don't think...) In the years since I've graduated my job, I've transitioned many times between school and work (summer jobs and the 2-year hiatus from university to work in children's ministry before going into undergrad business), and it's always tough. I get really used to seeing my coworkers every day, and over time you build trust and rapport and get to the point where you really talk about everything. Although, I suppose that having sections and learning teams next year AND being in a relatively small class, I will still get to experience that.

As I ramble on... I do still have three weeks left. I guess I can leave some of the reflecting until then!

*Note: This is one of those areas in which I struggle with anonymity. Do I say the name of my company? Or do I just keep it as Company? For now, I will keep it relatively private. But if you are looking for somewhere to work in Edmonton, and are an engineer of the electrical variety, let me know and I'll hook you up with our HR guy...

Check, Check, Check

After working all of last weekend, a lot of the items on my Outlook to-do list turned red on account of being past their due dates. But today, I finished the last of my pre-enrollment modules, so I am well on the way to having everything done by the end of June.

Sadly, since it has been 10 years since I've done high school math, I actually had to take part of the math test twice. It's funny how we attempt to save time by not reviewing the material, then have to take it again. I hope that my score on the assessment doesn't have any material effect on my grades, since it wasn't my best showing. What can I say? I'm still in summer mode. I'm glad for two weeks of orientation to get myself back in study mode.

The other BIG thing on the list is selling my car. I consider myself a decent negotiator, but I really don't have weeks to spend playing games and haggling over the price. I'm thinking of pricing my car just over the base minimum that I plan on selling it for. Any car selling experts out there with some advice?

Well, I'm exhausted. The countdown is 15 days left of work before vacation. Next week will be really nice, with just two days of work, Canada Day, another two days of work, and then the weekend. In three weeks, when I finish work, it will be time to rush hardcore into vacation. As it's been over a year since I've had a real vacation (don't know if you would count travelling to MBA programs as a vacation, though it was a fun trip!), I'm definitely looking forward to some extended time off.

My Internet Self

Today I got another friend request on Facebook from a future classmate. I always feel mixed about accepting these requests. On one hand, it's nice to develop somewhat of a rapport with my classmates, since they will be the people I spend all my time with next year. On the other hand, it feels weird to give them a glimpse of my life now, before our experiences all merge. There have been a few people that I've exchanged emails with or followed on Twitter, but it always feels like the Facebook friend request gives them access to all my photos and notes and identity. Not that I assume everyone is going to pore over my profile in detail... it's just weird that they CAN.

Despite not really having anything to hide, I do tend to keep my profile very private. (Yeah, right, nothing to hide, you say? Seriously... my mom's on Facebook with complete access to everything posted by me or about me...) It just comes down to controlling who has what information about me. I remember I went to a party a few years ago, and I met this girl for the first time, and she commented on pictures I had previously posted. Since that time, I changed my settings so only friends could see anything. I guess you just never know who's going to tag a picture and put a misleading caption on it, or make a comment that is a private joke that could totally throw someone else off.

Since I'm finishing up at my job (18 days, but who's counting? Yikes... so much to do in that time!), I'm very aware that it will not be long before internship searching and another job hunt begin. While I wouldn't expect that every potential future employer would Google me or look me up on Facebook, I definitely know that it's possible. As a result, I do search my name regularly to see what shows up. (Met a fellow blogger who shares my name in the process!) So far, I haven't found anything I'm ashamed of, but nothing particularly astonishing either.

Anyway... just thought I'd throw this out there for a little discussion, perhaps. How much of your identity do you reveal online through public forms? How private is your Facebook profile? Are you ever worried what recruiters/future classmates may find?

Letters

Last night as I was attempting to purge even further the amount of stuff I have, I came across a box full of letters that I had once deemed important enough to keep. As I started reading them, I was brought back to so many memories. There were encouragement notes, cards with kind messages in them, notes written during a class and finally, letters written from friends when I went off to Bible College, since there were actually people who didn't have regular email access ten years ago.

It's funny how times have changed. I can stay in regular contact with friends in China, Argentina, Tanzania and Europe now through email and Facebook.

But there's something sad about the lack of letters these days. I couldn't quite bring myself to throw out the old letters. Instead I scanned them and saved them on my computer. Even though some of those words were written 12 years ago, it still warms my heart to read a thoughtfully written message of encouragement.

So, let's bring back the art of the letter. The nice thing is that it doesn't have to be frequent or lengthy. Just some kind, thoughtful, handwritten words can go a long way. After all, I've felt they were important enough to save for over a decade, moving through several houses. In fact, if I can issue a challenge to you as you read this, it would be to think of someone who has touched your life in some small way, and write them a letter to tell them.

Suburban Sunset

My original plan was to blog about anonymity, identity, social networking and the Internet, but I looked out my window and saw this view, so I figured all of that can wait. In the meantime, you can read my fellow blogger's musings about the subject. (And the accompanying comments!)

My future self is jealous of my current self for getting to see this every evening.

Peace

It's the perfect evening. After a few rather hot, humid days, tonight the rain poured down and cooled everything off. As I prepare for bed, I've opened the window to get the air going and the smell of rain has wafted in. The croaking of frogs, a sound that I have quickly gotten used to in the few short weeks I've been here, reigns persistent, punctuated only by the occasional sound of a bug succumbing to the zapper on my neighbour's deck. The breeze from outside is welcome, making my room comfortably cool so I can snuggle under my duvet.

And I am at peace.

For those of you who have just "tuned in" to my blog, I feel as though I need to preface this next section with a warning... My faith is very important to me. So a lot of times, I interweave normal, everyday events with what others consider spiritual. And I recognize that many people see faith differently than me, so when I do that, just bear with me. :-)

Anyway, after being stressed last night with all the details of a cross-border move, a friend on Facebook reminded me that I just need to breathe and let God do the rest. It's funny, because that's what he told me throughout the MBA application process. (Yes, I stressed a lot. If you have gone through it, you understand. If you are just starting, I know your pain, but trust me, it's worth it. And if you haven't done it at all, have compassion on those that have!)

With the way the doors have opened, I really feel as though God is leading me down this path. It's an unsettling time to be leaving a stable job to invest in a significant education, knowing that hiring is down. But all I really need to do is take one step at a time, and trust that I'm not going to end up filing for bankruptcy protection or begging for food on the street. (And hey, if I do, well, it will be character building.) When I really learn to trust God's plan, I'm reminded that the bumps and hurdles that we face in life generally put us in a better spot. I still remember the day I didn't get an invitation to interview at what I thought was my dream B-school. All the invitations came out on one earth-shattering day. But a good friend reminded me to just trust God's plan, and ultimately, I think Darden is a much better fit.

So, I will make lists of what needs to be done. (As per my friends' suggestions!) Then I will do the things on the lists. And, in just over 6 weeks(!), I will confidently stroll into the next phase of my life, trusting that God has a plan, even when I can't see it.